Thank you Rosetta , I appreciate your kind words , as you say I am not ungrateful at all about being able to conserve my breasts ( left one invasive lobular E+ P+ , right one E+ P+ Her 2 + ) I just never accounted for the loss I would feel , I try hide how I feel as my family would instantly jump on the ' there are people far worse than you ' ticket , so it's been so good to be able to let it all out on here .... I am thankful , I am certainly grateful but I just need time to get to know the new me! Thank you again for your help. Kathy Have a good one . ????