Thank you ladies. It's nice to have a listening ear. It's just a bad day and I'll almost certainly be brighter tomorrow. I'm usually a fairly tough chicky, but we all need to not quite hold it together sometimes. I know I need to change my situation, but I've been feeling so tired it's a bit overwhelming at times. I need to be patient and wait til I'm in a place where I'm able to take those challenges on. In the mean time I think you're right about some kind of counselling to help me get an action plan in place and have emotional support available. An Otis retreat would be lovely, but I don't want to go with the other half and going alone will likely cause drama. I will keep it in mind for future. I'll have a good cleansing cry tonight and put my big girl panties back on in the morning. Thanks again for lustening and responding. It's very comforting xxx