Hi Sue
I fear I am facing the same choice. My margins were good, my lymphs were clear, but I am 47 yrs old with HER2+ Grade 3 with Ki 67 score of 70%. While the majority of women who have the exact same cancer who choose not to have chemo will still be here after 5 years, I've been told that my chances of the cancer not coming back are improved if I have chemo and take Herceptin and that this will probably be confirmed by the chemo oncologists when I see them next week.
Ahead of the appointment with my oncologist my thinking is along the lines of if I turn down the option of chemo for a small percentage gain, will I regret not having tried everything I could? The answer for me is yes. My sons are youngish 21, 18 and 16. My husband and I have such grand plans for retirement. That's 13 years away and I want to desperately kick cancer's butt so I can do the things we are planning to do. I am also desperate for grandchildren (not my decision I know, but I can dream that one day my sons will have kids).
There are so many things I am looking forward to. Also the constant feeling of uncertainty I have now at the very beginning of this journey is driving me crazy. How will I feel having a big question mark hanging over my head going forward? I can't stand the thought that maybe there's a higher chance the cancer will come back if I don't do chemo when/if its offered.
Having said that I wonder about how I will go with chemo since I have such a bad immune system (I seem to catch every cold and virus going around), have joint problems from severe sporting injuries when young which have also helped to make me obese, have high blood pressure and heart issues. All factors that may mean chemo may not be offered. Not to mention I have long red hair - my defining feature - and losing it will be hard, and that losing an income if I can't work will really push us to the wall.
Sigh, such a lot to take in.
Hopefully now that it is a few days later the decision is a little easier for you. There is no right or wrong decision, only the best for you emotionally. I wish you all the very best.
Nadine
