A couple of years down the track

Hi @Tink,

I was single when I had a double mastectomy ten years ago. I did go down the reconstruction route--something I wish I had never done. I've got the worst reconstruction--I call them the frankentitties--and am not at all happy or comfortable with the way I look. So, I totally get the business of looking in the mirror and wondering "WTF happened? Really? This is it for good?" Anyway, I feel like I've moved on from despair to resignation. I've had so many surgeries on these puppies that I've given up now. I had a recurrence last year which has doubled my determination to never have another general anaesthetic unless its to save my life.

So, on to men. About three years after my surgery I decided a girl's got needs and this girl was getting needy. I'm fiercely independent but do like a man in my life and I hadn't met anyone who was a likely candidate. I decided to dive into the online dating pond. I've got to warn you, there is a fair degree of slime in there, but once you get your bullshit detector serviced and turned on, it's kinda fun.

I made sure that any profile I put up included a reference to my cancer experience. My favourite was to say that I was looking for someone who was more interested in what was going on between my ears than under my shirt. You can borrow that if you like :) I also made sure that anyone I was interested in knew that if they were a 'tit' man, they were looking in the wrong place. Come to think of it, if they are a 'leg' man they won't be happy either, but that's beside the point.

Anyone worth your attention won't care. I don't know how old you are, but I was dealing with men mostly in their fifties, and I can assure you that most of them are in far from perfect condition. If they can't cope with a chest that looks like it's been in the blender, I'm not interested in their beer gut, false teeth or possible sexual disfunction. It's all give and take.

I finally met the most fabulous guy. We've been together for 4 years; he lives about 90km from me, has stood by me through a very challenging recurrence and full on treatment regime.

Good luck, have fun and keep in mind that even super models have to kiss a few frogs. And there is a distinct shortage of princes so it's best to go for someone who can do a knight in shining armour impression every once in a while.

Marg