it is hard Tink what you can do if you want is see a psychologist and have some sessions it really helped me with lots of things I started struggling with.....You can get a mental health plan and see them under medicare.... up to 10 sessions either free or on reduced rates....
I have found that extremely helpful...
I have a friend (male) he is absolutely both encouraging and totally accepting of my double mastectomy, he says to me "you are alive that is what I want" so yes they cope and deal with it..... Melclarity has had reconstruction and she might be able to help you with some more ideas
Soldiercrab