4 weeks today!

OMG!! Is it chemo brain or is this site a bit challenging to figure out?!?!? I have been trying to get past my inbox almost all day! I keep getting emails saying I have messages then can't get at them!! I am in Sydney. Funny where we dig our heels in, isn't it, but I don't want a portacath either. Was hoping to talk my doctor into a long line (PICC) to get rid of ALL pokes related to chemo except the blood work. They can take blood too but it isn't very economical for those of us busy killing off our blood cells as they have to waste some blood that is contaminated by anticoagulant first. They go in in the upper arm (or neck, not my choice) and the end is like a regular IV so just hook me up!! I'll let you know how that discussion goes. I agree that after needle biopsy, sentinel node mapping, mastectomy, double drain sites I too DO NOT want anyone poking at my chest!! Plus they are ugly. Give me the sleek look of a long line hidden by a simple sleeve! I am not squeamish but the worse the chemo effects the harder those pokes are to take. I haven't really had anyone go with me to things - I am much better at concentrating on my own. Most of the others in the day unit seem to have someone with them. Given the different types and stages of those in the day unit I can see where it might be upsetting to family. I mean we kind of go in there like fronting up for battle, immersed in our own journey, but they would see everything so differently. More than ever in my life I feel as you say - would desperately love to have a supportive man around for comfort and just to talk. And someone to take some of the household and childcare weight off when I am sick. Sigh. Dream on. Instead my developmentally delayed 5 year old wants to attach herself to me!! And she doesn't take no for an answer!! Emotionally, I think I should put up a sign : WARNING! Wildly swinging emotions! I think my son thinks I have lost my mind at times! He cops it because it is often his behaviour which has pushed me to 'failure to cope'. Ah to be a self absorbed teen! Both my kids have their own special needs - my son fronts well but he was severely drug exposed in utero and has multiple learning disorders, poor judgement and impulsive behaviour. Both are adopted, hence the five year old at fifty five! What we need - for this time period only! - is someone like MY sister! Barge in, take charge, let you cry but no effusive sympathy, crack the whip with the medical professionals! Then she can go back to Canada!!! How are you handling the hair loss side of things? Both my friends who have gone through this were really worried and had wigs made right away etc. Not much of a girly girl I really don't mind - consider it a vacation from my dead straight style resisting locks!! One of my friends also wanted to do life as normal and managed to keep working part time. When I get the Taxol and Carbo there is no way in HELL you could get me to do anything resembling work! Just Taxol not so bad but even today I picked my daughter up, went grocery shopping and by the time I got home I would have loved to not have to put groceries away, deal with my daughter or take my son to baseball practice. Bean brain I got to my friend's house to pick up my son and found I had driven the entire way with an IPad on the car roof! Thank God for Survivor cases! Stuck to the car like glued! Anyway, don't think it would be a good idea to give me dangerous machinery to operate after chemo!! If you have ANY hints for navigating this site they would be most welcome. How do I post as you did so the others see it? And for goodness sake why does it say 'save' instead of having a 'post' button?!?! I am becoming my mother!!!