4 weeks today!

Hi - I'm in Brisbane.  My drugs are Fluorouracil, Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide.  The nurses want me to get a portocath but I have no intention of doing that.  I had no choice about having a mastectomy or the chemo, but I can make a choice about the portocath and it's a NO!!!  The thought of anyone coming near my chest at the moment is awful!!!  In answer to your question- yes, I do find myself putting on a brave face in front of friends and family so as to not cause them stress or sadness.  My sister came with me to my first chemo session and I could see she got quite emotional, so I was cheering her up!  She was also there when I attended the breast clinic and was told it was probably cancer - again, I was consoling her!  She has been wonderful though - do anything for me.  I have cried in front of her only once, but boy, have I cried on my own!  Getting teary now.  I am divorced and live on my own, so I can let my guard down at home.  I am very happy being single, but this is one of those times when I very much would love to have a partner to help me cope!  At this stage I am trying to maintain life as normal but even after only one session of chemo I find I am pretty tired and nauseous.  I'm currently temping, and next week have one day's work - first time since my surgery.  I'm sure I'll be buggered at the end of the day, but I'm looking forward to getting out of the house for more than an hour or two. I'm sure we can go through this togehter and keep each other's spirits up! Whereabouts do you live?