Forum Discussion
2 year all-clear, 2 year all-fear.
I've just had my second year check-up scans. It's always going to be so stressful.
I've had a range of worrying new symptoms pop up over the last couple of months while on my Tamoxifen break, so I'm worried something was there and has now domino down my left arm lymph nodes.
Taking a look at my scans, my layman eyes don't see a disaster. There are areas in the ultra that look like masses although to my memory they don't seem to have the blood flow activity to indicate tumors, however on the mammogram they radiate the margins of my crash site (... that's what I call my scar tissue, haha). And as much as I'd like to think hey, it's just age, it's just calcification, there's nothing like it in my other breast to establish that.
I know, I know, the cardinal rule of check-up scans is not to look at them before your consultation but as if have scans of inside my body in my possession and not look? Ha!
I never shook the lethargy. My doctor told me that it's actually a normal thing for cancer survivors to be chronically tired. There are no solutions; work while tired, exercise while tired, eat while tired, struggle to sleep, wake up tired, repeat. And everything always hurts. It's just my normal now to need painkillers to get through the day. 2 years on and my radiotherapy pain still hasn't gone away - and it's not just that it's not gone away, it hasn't "settled" the way I was hoping. It might be that during healing I just got lucky and clumps of nerves got together to make particular movements painful. I hurt every day and I needed to complain about it. It's been so long of waking up with pain and no energy and I don't complain anywhere. Sorry BCNA. You get my worst side.
I've refrained from posting quite a lot and just kept to the activity threads because I feel that my particular forum needs are a form of clutter for those in active treatment. A follow-up/aftercare category/life after category would be nice?
I've had a range of worrying new symptoms pop up over the last couple of months while on my Tamoxifen break, so I'm worried something was there and has now domino down my left arm lymph nodes.
Taking a look at my scans, my layman eyes don't see a disaster. There are areas in the ultra that look like masses although to my memory they don't seem to have the blood flow activity to indicate tumors, however on the mammogram they radiate the margins of my crash site (... that's what I call my scar tissue, haha). And as much as I'd like to think hey, it's just age, it's just calcification, there's nothing like it in my other breast to establish that.
I know, I know, the cardinal rule of check-up scans is not to look at them before your consultation but as if have scans of inside my body in my possession and not look? Ha!
I never shook the lethargy. My doctor told me that it's actually a normal thing for cancer survivors to be chronically tired. There are no solutions; work while tired, exercise while tired, eat while tired, struggle to sleep, wake up tired, repeat. And everything always hurts. It's just my normal now to need painkillers to get through the day. 2 years on and my radiotherapy pain still hasn't gone away - and it's not just that it's not gone away, it hasn't "settled" the way I was hoping. It might be that during healing I just got lucky and clumps of nerves got together to make particular movements painful. I hurt every day and I needed to complain about it. It's been so long of waking up with pain and no energy and I don't complain anywhere. Sorry BCNA. You get my worst side.
I've refrained from posting quite a lot and just kept to the activity threads because I feel that my particular forum needs are a form of clutter for those in active treatment. A follow-up/aftercare category/life after category would be nice?
67 Replies
- Hi @SoldierCrab
As Riki said above, we are very happy to create a new category for life after treatment. We think it's a great idea. We are just wanting to hear from the group about a suitable name.
Everyone, let us know your thoughts re the following options or any others you can think of
- Life after treatment/Life after active treatment (although a lot of you are still on some form of treatment after completing hospital treatment)
- So now what
- Life after...
Once we've decided on a name we can create the category immediately and you can get posting :smile: - here is a hug for all you non huggers ;)
I truly believe only those who have been through BC roller coaster get it.... - @Marianne_BCNA
@Giovanna_BCNALadies I am wondering the same thing we need somewhere not just the general discussion board for this I've refrained from posting quite a lot and just kept to the activity threads because I feel that my particular forum needs are a form of clutter for those in active treatment. A follow-up/aftercare category/life after category would be nice? there are quite a few ladies who are refraining for saying how they are going after treatment.... - Well hello beautiful....
I had this posted onto my facebook page by a friend this morning ....
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/10/176194/life-after-breast-cancer-survivor-story - @inkpetal and the rest of you lovelies...it's fucked, isn't it? I'm so tired and tired of feeling a hundred and tired. (lots of swearing) Huggy things to all.
- Ah Kath, I suspect you may be a bit more huggy than me. Maybe not much. But sending awkward touchy things anyway.
@InkPetal there are so many of us who are trying to figure out WFT happens next. - Thank you everyone for sharing. I'm 2.5 years since finishing treatment and never thought I would be so tired post treatment. I also am grateful I don't have chronic pain that is not manageable with paracetamol. Hugs to all xx
- I never imagined anyone didn't look at their results - of anything! It's about me, who else gets to see it is actually my call as much as anyone else's. I'm one of the lucky (annoying/irritating/ whatever) ones who didn't get tired or fatigued, during treatment or after. Like anyone, I can get tired, but it's caused by 12 hour days or bad sleep, and the latter preceded cancer by decades. I don't know if telling me beforehand about having an irregular heart beat or hobbit feet (that's what they feel like, they look quite OK) would have helped. I doubt it. I am just perpetually grateful I have missed (so far) the chronic pain option. Best wishes to you all.
- Oh I would be peeking too.
I'm always bloody tired. I'm so sick of being tired. I can do an 8 hour work day but need a nap when I'm home do I have enough energy for tea. I struggle with regular exercise during work week as I'm so bloody tired. And for me...it doesn't ever stop.
I'm so concerned about being tired I recently have had bloods to check I wasn't anemic...but no.
I've now got bilateral shoulder pain which is getting me down and despite ultrasounds etc. I still fear its bloody mets an not bursitis. This particularly worries me in the middle of the night when I can't sleep of course.
I'm struggling to keep weight off...which doesn't help with tirednes.
But on we go. Survivorship is bloody hard. I'm praying it's just depression or a slump which will pass eventually . I bloody hope so.
2 years for me in August last year since chemo endeded. 2 years last month tbat targeted therapy ended. But AI continues. - Yeah, we All peek, @InkPetal .... shame they don’t include the reports as well tho! All the best for your results.... once again the waiting sucks. The pain and inconvenience sucks .... it all sucks!
Vent away!!
The Health Professionals just don’t get it, do they? What this shitty disease does to us physically and mentally. I tell them to read Liz O’riordan’s blog ... a BC surgeon who got BC and recurrence, so has been thru the mill too.
http://liz.oriordan.co.uk/
@kmakm .... I like “So Now What ...”
