Forum Discussion
2 year all-clear, 2 year all-fear.
I've just had my second year check-up scans. It's always going to be so stressful.
I've had a range of worrying new symptoms pop up over the last couple of months while on my Tamoxifen break, so I'm worried something was there and has now domino down my left arm lymph nodes.
Taking a look at my scans, my layman eyes don't see a disaster. There are areas in the ultra that look like masses although to my memory they don't seem to have the blood flow activity to indicate tumors, however on the mammogram they radiate the margins of my crash site (... that's what I call my scar tissue, haha). And as much as I'd like to think hey, it's just age, it's just calcification, there's nothing like it in my other breast to establish that.
I know, I know, the cardinal rule of check-up scans is not to look at them before your consultation but as if have scans of inside my body in my possession and not look? Ha!
I never shook the lethargy. My doctor told me that it's actually a normal thing for cancer survivors to be chronically tired. There are no solutions; work while tired, exercise while tired, eat while tired, struggle to sleep, wake up tired, repeat. And everything always hurts. It's just my normal now to need painkillers to get through the day. 2 years on and my radiotherapy pain still hasn't gone away - and it's not just that it's not gone away, it hasn't "settled" the way I was hoping. It might be that during healing I just got lucky and clumps of nerves got together to make particular movements painful. I hurt every day and I needed to complain about it. It's been so long of waking up with pain and no energy and I don't complain anywhere. Sorry BCNA. You get my worst side.
I've refrained from posting quite a lot and just kept to the activity threads because I feel that my particular forum needs are a form of clutter for those in active treatment. A follow-up/aftercare category/life after category would be nice?
I've had a range of worrying new symptoms pop up over the last couple of months while on my Tamoxifen break, so I'm worried something was there and has now domino down my left arm lymph nodes.
Taking a look at my scans, my layman eyes don't see a disaster. There are areas in the ultra that look like masses although to my memory they don't seem to have the blood flow activity to indicate tumors, however on the mammogram they radiate the margins of my crash site (... that's what I call my scar tissue, haha). And as much as I'd like to think hey, it's just age, it's just calcification, there's nothing like it in my other breast to establish that.
I know, I know, the cardinal rule of check-up scans is not to look at them before your consultation but as if have scans of inside my body in my possession and not look? Ha!
I never shook the lethargy. My doctor told me that it's actually a normal thing for cancer survivors to be chronically tired. There are no solutions; work while tired, exercise while tired, eat while tired, struggle to sleep, wake up tired, repeat. And everything always hurts. It's just my normal now to need painkillers to get through the day. 2 years on and my radiotherapy pain still hasn't gone away - and it's not just that it's not gone away, it hasn't "settled" the way I was hoping. It might be that during healing I just got lucky and clumps of nerves got together to make particular movements painful. I hurt every day and I needed to complain about it. It's been so long of waking up with pain and no energy and I don't complain anywhere. Sorry BCNA. You get my worst side.
I've refrained from posting quite a lot and just kept to the activity threads because I feel that my particular forum needs are a form of clutter for those in active treatment. A follow-up/aftercare category/life after category would be nice?
67 Replies
- @"Patti J"
that sure is crappy - are they volunteers that run this program who are not properly trained in morals and ethics as well as exercise? - @Marianne_BCNA
For me,
Good suggestions like what @SoldierCrab suggested
Now What ? - Survivorship struggles..... - @"Patti J" sorry I meant to comment too, I've done the Encore Program and I liked it, it kick started me back, from there I found an exercise physiologist to work with. I THINK they have it all arse up personally...why isnt the time spent in all things, research and care, survivorship of Mets and Stage 4, to me this is more valuable and where we get the deeper knowledge and understanding of the disease. I also think too...BS!! discrimination and the benefits are enormous for you...please do challenge this as 'scare them away' I'm sure we can 'scare THEM away' if they don't! How dare they! and as others have said, as if people arent scared at any stage? please...they are ignorant and need to grow up. To me...what a great promotion for Stage 4. Hat off to you!! xx M
- @"Patti J" I was going to comment yesterday but typing something on a phone just gives me the irks. Don't let them tell you what you can and can't do. If anyone diagnosed with bc thinks that there are guarantees out there that there, they're living in a dreamland. This is not a fluffy, pink disease. It sounds more like those giving the programme are scared. I think it's more important for those of us at a lower stage to know that life can still be lived at Stage 4. The only real reason they can give for you not doing the programme is if your current condition makes the exercises dangerous. Given that you sign a waiver and have to have medical consent makes this ridiculous.
- @kmakm, thanks lovely xx
- Big hug to you too @"Michele B". K <3
- @michelle B
You too, dont forget to find tine to nurture you too. Xx - @melclarity,yep, that is what we do!! Have a great day tomorrow x
- @michelle B
I agree i too just hopped into bed aching!!! In pain and exhaustion with 1 more day to go. Yet i roll into work all smiles and nobody knows what i go through. Hard to find joy sometimes when quality of life has diminished . Well a good rest and onward we go because we do it so well!! X - Just tucked myself up in bed with another bloody headache and feeling sorry for myself for feeling absolutely exhausted after another day at work. Always does me good to check in here, makes me feel not so alone and makes me remember all of us are going thru the same struggles.
Fatigue is the killer for me, I blame it on Tamoxifen. Seems to be i handle it for a couple of weeks, then crash with a migraine..and im 4 years out! Love and hugs to everyone getting, up, turning up and just getting thru each day. Even tho I dont write here often, always a comfort to check in and know so many of us in this together xx
