@HinterlandSian you definitely can change you oncologist, even within the public system. As suggested, your BC nurse or GP may be able to help.
If all else fails, be honest with her and tell her that you are finding the relationship difficult. That's a tough thing to do, but you will have a long term investment in this, and you need to feel comfortable. Like all tricky conversations, think about what you want to say, make some notes, stay on topic and be polite.
You never know, if she realises that you are unhappy, she may reassess her approach to you.
These people are under a great deal of pressure, but the profession does seem to attract some personalities that are not very user friendly.
Never forget that this is all about you. MXX
