Oh ladies it is like you are me....and live in my head and say and do and feel and have many of the experiences that I do. Thank you all soo much for your responses you make me feel that I'm not losing the plot (well only sometimes but thats ok I've since decided ;) ) I am rethinking many things at this time but not making any major decisions just yet - going back to see my gp on Wed (which is my birthday - the things we do...) to discuss my feelings and the way forward from here. Today I wanted to do something , just anything, but couldn't even write a list so allowed myself a day on the bed reading abook and have decided that tomorrow will be a better day. My parents are driving down from Port douglas to visit for the week and will arrive tomorrow so having Mum and Dad around will be good for me I hope.
Thank you all again and I will try to stay in touch. Georgie