Trying to cope day to day
the past few weeks have been a true roller coaster for me. I have found in the past few days, my emotions have hit a low with crying, a sense of anger at the unknown of what lays ahead and last night...
Forum Discussion
Hi @LoisLois,
Yes it's F@#$%&&** awful! In our horrible lucid moments I think we are all afraid. I sure am, even though I look well and am back working full-time. I've finished active treatment and commenced endocrine therapy. I skipped chemo because the Oncotype DX result said it would be of <1% benefit as long as I take Tamoxifen... yet I am still afraid that I've made a mistake and been undertreated... and I'm afraid because I can't seem to get a straight answer about how long I can expect to survive anyway. The statistics re 5 years, 10 years freak me out. Am I supposed to be happy with 5 to 10 years? You can't even find reliable stats for more years of survival! "We just don't know" is all you get when you ask. It seems ludicrous to just get back on the hamster wheel of pre-BC life as if nothing happened, but that's what we are expected to do. That's what I've done. This whole BC thing has been a surreal mindfuck. I'm not even sure I've processed any of it or if I'm just living in denial. If I'm 'caught' crying or worrying, the response is "but you're OK right now". Am I?
Rant over. Glad I've got you guys. Sorry I can't help you LoisLois but I sincerely empathise. Rant here any time. We get it.
Yes it's F@#$%&&** awful! In our horrible lucid moments I think we are all afraid. I sure am, even though I look well and am back working full-time. I've finished active treatment and commenced endocrine therapy. I skipped chemo because the Oncotype DX result said it would be of <1% benefit as long as I take Tamoxifen... yet I am still afraid that I've made a mistake and been undertreated... and I'm afraid because I can't seem to get a straight answer about how long I can expect to survive anyway. The statistics re 5 years, 10 years freak me out. Am I supposed to be happy with 5 to 10 years? You can't even find reliable stats for more years of survival! "We just don't know" is all you get when you ask. It seems ludicrous to just get back on the hamster wheel of pre-BC life as if nothing happened, but that's what we are expected to do. That's what I've done. This whole BC thing has been a surreal mindfuck. I'm not even sure I've processed any of it or if I'm just living in denial. If I'm 'caught' crying or worrying, the response is "but you're OK right now". Am I?
Rant over. Glad I've got you guys. Sorry I can't help you LoisLois but I sincerely empathise. Rant here any time. We get it.