Whoa! I can see someone needs to vent and have a hissy fit! Go ahead as that is what we are here for! I have to say I struggled with your heading, but that is me, perhaps a bit prudish at times!
Can't compare yourself to others as it only does your head in as I can see in this vent! Eventually you will find acceptance, or perhaps you already have, as I think you said in another post it has been 5 years however your vent is a little like someone just starting out! Anyhow, maybe you'll be on your way to smiling at the skinny bike race and say oh well I'm not 18 anymore but if I was that might've been me!
Alive and breathing is a good way to be! Don't think much of the alternative, do you?
Take care and sending you a virtual hug