Positive thought for the day xx

Sometimes, one step at a time (even if it's dragging) is the only way to go forward. Hugs @kmakm

@allyjay You are truly amazing to go through that and make it out the other side still fighting.

@kezmusc I know the general wisdom is to examine and analyse but I think you're right - sometimes the only way to survive is to lock it away - at least until you're in a position to look at it.

@kmakm.  <3 <3 <3

Thanks @kezmusc. You get it. This time of year is particularly rife with positive embrace life new dawn #blessed exhortations. I do not feel victorious. I'm slogging on through waist high mud and it's getting to me. Luv ya too babe. K xox

@Kmakm,   we all know what keeping things inside does to us.  I.e my father who would never ever admit to needing any help and that PTSD was all a load of bullshit.  

 My brother had a rough trot (mostly brought on by himself and a group of toxic people) but was brought up with Dad's beliefs and ended up phoning for help whilst standing on the platform ready to jump in front of a train.  Thankfully my mother was able to get there at lightning speed.  He ended up in the mental health unit for months.

I have my own issues but they are safely locked in a box in my head these days.  Guilt has its own box in there as well.  It has a big lable on the front saying "stay the hell out".  I like to guard it with Fluffy the three headed dog from Harry Potter.  LOL

 This forum and the people who gather here are your friends although most of us have never met we feel for each other and can understand.  Depression just fucking sucks and is like quicksand to get out of.  One step foward, sucked back down.

Talk to whoever you need to, take the drugs you need to.  Let it out.  Put guilt in a box and drop kick it out the nearest window.

There is zero need to feel shame or guilt, you did not ask for any of this in your life.  It is bloody hard and you have had a shit time before your own battle. It would definitely be unusual if you just bounced right back in a hurry.

And yes there are days went you want to throw up if you read one more positive analogy.

Hang in there Katie bird.  Luv ya  xoxoxo

Thanks @arpie. Being alive and sad while my sister is dead does add a layer of complexity to my emotions for sure.

OMG @AllyJay - you really HAVE been thru thru mill.  Well done on coming out the other side and still being the lovely compassionate person that you are.  xxx   My mother had ECT back in the 60s .... I didn't think it was used any more!  :( 

Kate - as we all say at one stage or another - it is one day at a time - sometimes one hour at a time ..... Do you think you are carrying a double guilt burden - that of your sister as well?  Having her 2 children to raise as well as your own (in itself) puts huge pressure on you, as they would be very concerned for your own health too .... and if hubby is away at work a lot of time - all these things add burdens .....

Be gentle on yourself .... it WILL happen .... BIG hugs coming your way xxx

@Blossom1961 That is such a sweet thing to say! I shall call you didi, which is Hindi for older sister. Thank you for the snuggly hug, gratefully accepted. I am close to Ringers. Are you heading up this way? It'd be great to meet you. But if not, I'll be heading down to Geelong one day soon so we can catch up then.

Yeah, my mother belongs to the stiff upper lip just get on with school of behaviour. You could probably trace my guilt at my emotional difficulties to my upbringing. But I apportion no blame, she did her best. It's just hard ignoring the strictures that get laid down so early in our brains.

Reading, jigsaws and coffee with friends sounds like a gorgeous recovery plan! Good on you. K xox

Oh @AllyJay. ECT must have been horrendous. In N.S.W. Chelmsford Private Hospital was notorious for using ECT. 
Stevie Wright from the Easybeats was one famous person who endured this treatment.

@AllyJay How f*****d in the head am I that a stay in a locked ward drugged to the eyeballs sounds tempting?! I'm sorry that you went through that experience. Brutal. I've had friends and family in psychiatric wards and have visited them more than once. Not fun. You really have been through the mill; that you're still standing is an inspiration. Thank you for the hug. Reciprocated with feeling. K xox