Mums, Mums, Mums...

I wish I lived just around the corner from you.  I would love to take your girls to the park etc just to give you some time.  I know I have been there.  I am so sorry that you have the "double whammy" - bc and single motherhood.  I know how hard it was just to be a single mother.  My two little girls were 6 and 9 when we were "thrown out onto the street" with nowhere to live and with just the clothes we salvaged.  I had a beaten up old station wagon and off we went.  I was 30 years old and totally devastated.  It nearly was the undoing of me BUT I became strong, worked, purchased my own home, worked, worked, worked, got sick, worked, got sick, worked , fought to get some justice, worked, had operations and all the time he and his "old tart" lived "the life of Riley".  He would only see the children when it suited him - when there was a touch footy carnival in town (he was heavily involved in this sport and lived a couple of hours away).  Once he hadn't seen the girls for 9 months.  My parents were wonderful but weren't in a financial situation to assist but were always "there" for me.  I felt like an outcast as all of my 4 sisters had "normal lives".  There was never any money for extras but somehow I would always find the extra when the girls needed something.  I even put them through a private girls school for secondary education.  I have never spoken to my ex husband since I left (I had to leave as we were living in a mine house).  All those years ago - it is nearly 25 years ago (21st Oct) - my girls were looked upon as "different"  in their new school but they were also told that they were little rich kids.  Little did people know how wrong they were.  I used to work fulltime all week , take in ironing from friends and also work as a Trades Assistant on weekends for a painter - just to be able to put food on the table and pay my bills.  It was tough times and I can remember the times when I was sick how difficult it was to still have to look after the children.  It is no mean feat and I emphasise with you.  I have loved seeing how happy you and your girls have been participating in the Apprentice series.  You deserve any bit of happiness you can gather.  Men can be so weak and need women to prop them up.  My now husband is wonderful - most of the time but he does need propping up too.  It took me a long time to find him and to accept him as a "keeper".  When I perused this reply, I realised that the only thing I can offer you is HOPE and STRENGTH that you can survive on your own as I did.  I never thought that I would ever reach the age of 55 and be able to access my superannuation  ($$$$$$ ) that would enable me some freedom and enjoy the "fruits" of my hard work - yes it was an endurance and hard labour sentence BUT because I had my girls I had the determination to continue no matter how difficult life was.  They are the love of my life and I can see that your two beautiful little ones are also yours.  Stay strong Sole and you don't know "what's around the corner".  My dear old friend used to tell me this all the time and I thought it was such "a bloody big corner".  When I was first diagnosed with BC back in Oct 2006 my 4 sisters said "You got this because you are the strongest and are able to deal with it".  Not sure what they said this time but I know that they all think I'm pretty tough.  Sending you a great big hug. XLeonie