Just want to talk and get some advice

Catherine, your comment, 'I feel unmoored from the dock' is perfect! When we hear our diagnosis its as though everything that held life in place, made sense, kept us going through the tough times, gave us joy etc. etc. has slipped away, a friend said, 'Its like I'm slipping on fishes!' Meaning that even the ground feels weird under our feet! I realised after a few months that I actually still had my hand on the tiller, there were things and events that made sense and kept me mentally and emotionally healthy. I have severe peripheral neuropathy in my feet and the pain is cruel, it is impacting on my quality of life and I've had to adjust. I'm also a sole traveller but have learned to ask, never easy, but I am becoming better as I've come to understand just how much people want/need to feel that they are doing something to make my life a little easier. I've learned to appreciate their intentions which mostly come from care and compassion. Struggling to find meaning? Again, to be diagnosed is to have your world tipped upside down, I think we must create some new meanings and I've done that by becoming more aware of things I appreciate, I find that satisfying, eg, a text from a friend, birdsong in the garden, a decent cup of coffee etc. basically the simple things and that sustains me through those times when I feel totally fed up! To be able to chat on line with those who share similar experiences is GOLD!!!!

Awesome messages. Thank you so much to those all of you. I am sooo much more comfortable chatting on line than in person. Comments of other sole travellers make me laugh, we humans are so complex aren’t we! One of my girlfriends told me last night, Cathrine, you didn’t even have to ask for help, you just had to say yes! That changed the way I have started to think about my journey. I can be less angry with everyone (why I am doing this I do not know). I do think I will try to be more accepting in the future of “sharing” my journey.
yes this is my first year on anastrazol , I’ve done a bit of swapping between that and tamoxifen. Absolutely no libido on either, the pain has fallen on me like an avalanche in the past two months. Previously I’ve had little to no pain at all. 
Im quite an anxious person so I’ve also been on an antidepressant for that for many years. I’m wearing myself down on my dosage of that so that’s all contributing to my discombobulation 😂.
im 57, but I’m struggling to find meaning at times. I’m optimistic but am feeling a bit like I’ve come unmoored from the dock!!
i was interested in the comment about magnesium, I didn’t know about that so I might try rubbing some of that on.
So happy to have found you all, thank You!

I was 3 years post treatment and on hormone therapy and not only was everything aching, my heart started skipping beats and then racing. I went off the tablets to get my lame foot to get better so I could actually walk on the stress test treadmill to test the heart and by accident found that it was the pill that was aggravating the heart. Oh well, the oncologist said, 3 years is better than nothing and I could cease the hormone treatment. Most all aches have gone but now my energy levels are a come or go affair if the heart starts skipping. At least it doesn't race at 170bpm any more.

@cathrine
Hi! For some people their body settles into the drug with minimal issues and for others...all hell breaks loose! I count myself in the latter half. My joint issues ramped up to the point that i had a 2 month break, that was in the middle of this year. I have been on letrozole for 2 years but an now seriously considering tamoxifen, more seriously than before, due to a drop in my bone density. But that is a discussion i will have with my onco come April next year. And yes, i didn't want help, just understanding and a willingness to keep things on a 'normal' level. I was lucky, i dodged radiation due to a trial I'm on and didn't need chemo. But feeling like an 80yo in my 50s?!! My motto is 'use it or lose it'. Inactivity is my enemy so you'll see me at the gym 3 times a week, in the garden, moving furniture, ripping up carpet, hammering down all the creaks, packing stuff away, unpacking stuff...yep we've been renovating and now my hands hate me but that's what icepacks and rocktape are for. 
Best of luck with finding ways of coping with the side effects.
From another Cath!

The aches and pains from the AIs make everything so damn miserable.  I never expected this - you're definitely not alone @cathrine

Hi @cathrine  it's a bastard isn't it? The aches and pains thing is so frustrating, who signed me up for this?

I'm another solitary traveller when it comes to all things 'treatment''. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why anyone would bring a posse to an oncology unit--Im more like a cranky old dog  who wants to crawl away where noone can see me.  The only problem I've found with that is everyone starts to think I'm a right old battleaxe who never needs any help. And sometimes I do.

Anyway, it's 5 am and I'm waiting for the rain to arrive. No doubt I'll find something to complain about when it does, but at least it will distract me from my aching bones. Hang in there chick; as some pompous entitled twit once said 'Life wasn't meant to be easy.' 

Hi @cathrine,
Just to say like the others have, a big welcome to this forum and what a great group of women and men we have on here! When we feel a bit low, others lift us, and we can also reach out to others, offering support or just to say hello. We each have our own story, but everyone here understands and 'gets it'. I have been on AI's (Arimidex) for @ 5 months and definitely noticing muscle and joint discomfort/pain. My oncologist suggested magnesium tablets which I have bought but not taken yet. I also am very independent, no hot meals delivered to my door! :(
Which is a shame as I am such a bad cook!
Sending you my very best wishes, 

Hi cathrine, another Catherine here :smile:
I also had excruciating joint pain after being on hormone blockers for about 2 years (Tamoxifen, then Arimidex). I got to the point where I refused to take them and went in and saw onc and told them so! After a 4 week break, I insisted that they change me to another one, which they did (Aromasin). Well, it has been the best thing ever (to advocate for myself), as I haven't had joint pain on Aromasin, until just about 6 weeks ago, when I started taking calcium & vitamin D twice a day (due to diagnosis of osteopenia). As soon as I started on the calcium and vit D, the joint pain returned. I ended up getting relief from rubbing magnesium oil on myself (I rub it on my belly, thighs, lower legs and upper arms). The mag seems to balance out the calcium and vit D. I think that most of use on hormone blockers don't realise how much the meds depletes our magnesium and I think it throws our system out of balance - well it's already out of balance due to being on the hormone blockers. Anyway, that's what helped me through the joint pain. Hope it may be something to try. :smiley:

If one year since chemo I am assuming 1 year on AI's. Has this pain just started in last month?
Has anything else changed like your weight or major joint changes?
It could be lots of things. My AIs were a problem from the start then improved somewhat, however with weight gain my joints really became an issue. Swapping from letrozole to anastrozole helped, and losing weight and more activity has helped even more.
Sometimes you just need to talk with your GP. I started with basic bloods to ensure I didn't have inflammatory arthritis.
An exercise class might help with your joints and mental health also.

@cathrine  -  you are not alone with the pain from the AI tablets - it creeps up on you & can be debilitating .....

Due to the aches & pains - I am onow onto my 3rd lot of AIs (started with Letrozole for 6 weeks, then 6 months Exemestane & now had 6 months Arimidex!)  

Yes, sometimes family & friends can be a bit 'clingy' - but it is also nice to have some support - so feel free to put up any questions you have, or vent here - we've all been thru it and know exactly what you are going thru.  Because we 'look OK' - everyone assumes we ARE OK! 

It can be tricky letting family & friends know that you really aren't coping too well just now - were you assigned a Breast Care Nurse with your treatment?  They may be able to put you onto a social worker and/or psychologist who may be able to talk you thru some coping strategies?

Take care xx