Introduction

Thanks Alison,

I intend to fight this monster come rain, hail or shine.  So far, since my diagnosis on 31/08 I have had 1 meltdown which lasted a couple of hours (the morning after meeting my surgeon for the first time) and 1 cave bear day (I still had drains in and was staying at my sister's) where I didn't get out of my PJ's - just couldn't be bothered.  Just sat in a chair and watched TV or more to the point I stared at the TV as I have no idea what was on.

I now have dates re chemo with a portacath being inserted next Friday (28/10) and my 1st chemo session scheduled for Mon 31/10.  I certainly have mixed feelings about chemo as we hear so many stories - but I also know that no two people react the same.  Fortunately my Oncologist is in the same practice as my Haematologist so they will be able to consult with each other easily, so that both conditions can be considered when prescribing treatment/s.

How I am dealing with this is pretty much the way I deal with every-thing and that is to ask myself the questions - Is this something I can control? / What are my options? / What can I control?.  As far as my medical conditions are concerned, I have no control over them, My options involve what treatment is available. and I can control what treatments I decide to have and how I choose to react emotionally.  I have decided to laugh my way through it as much as I can.

I was able to drive again for the first time yesterday and it was great having some independence back.  The Dr didn't want me driving earlier as I have a manual 4wd.  I was even able to feed my horse by myself.  Tonight, I even get to sleep in my own bed for the first time in 3 weeks as I have been staying with friends and family since my surgery.  I wanted to come home before this, but they wouldn't let me, so I packed my car and ran away this morning.  Now I feel like a naughty schoolgirl waiting for the truant officer to turn up and take me back.

It is strange how such small things can bring such great enjoyment.

I know there will be times when it won't be a good idea to stay at home by myself, and that is when I will be more than happy for their hospitality, but right now I need to find my "new normality" and learn what I can and cannot do for myself.

If you are ever in the Caboolture QLD area, I would love to meet you as I now find myself wanting to meet people who are going or have been on this "journey", because while my friends and family are great, I don't think they have the same level of understanding.  I intend contacting a local support group and meeting with them if I can and I figure I will meet people when I start chemo soon as well.

In the meantime, don't let the things you cannot control get you down and laugh as much as you can.

Robyn