Fight for yourself -if you don't, no one else will

So the breast cancer battle rages on....and I'm gearing up for round two.

 

Three weeks ago, after experiencing pain in my left armpit, I discovered a very small, mushy lump.  My husband told me to go straight to the doctor but because my doctor was on holidays, I had to go to one of those large clinics and see someone there.  I thought I was being paranoid but he could feel a lump too and sent me for an urgent ultrasound - unfortunately someone forgot to tell the ultrasound place it was urgent and they made me wait for 2 weeks for one (I called every day hassling out the receptionist for an earlier appointment - it didn't work).  

 

I took a dear friend with me and the sonographer took her time and was thorough.  Even though I had had a clear mammogram and a clear ultrasound at my one year anniversary (Nov 2010) she found 7 cysts.  She said everything looked good though.  We went to lunch to celebrate with a glass of wine.....

 

The next day I picked up the results and as I'm sure most of us do, I opened up the films - and my heart nearly stopped.  The words ".....a poorly defined 8x3mm lesion is noted of suspicious type at the 12 o'clock position..." leapt off the page.  I immediately contacted my GP who saw me straight away and on my way to her office, I stopped in to see my breast surgeon (Dr John Buckingham) only to find out he had to retire abruptly due to ill health (the 'illness' was advanced pancreatic cancer - such a sad, ironic thing given his lifetime dedication to breast cancer patients in Australia - more on that in a later post).  

 

So now I was without a breast surgeon in Canberra and needing further tests that it turns out I couldn't get in Canberra for at least a month due to the other four breast surgeons in Canberra on holidays!  No offence to the rural areas of Australia, but sometimes I think Canberra really is a 'country town' in a lot of ways....

 

Thankfully with my persistence and my GP's contacts, we got me into Westmead Hospital in Sydney for the FNA and MRI I needed.  I spent a week in Sydney with my husband's beautiful parents who loved on me and my mother in law held my hand as they poked, prodded, pushed and persisted in looking for the suspicious lump.  So far the tests are inconclusive - the FNA couldn't be carried out successfully, apparently the lump was too small and too hard for the radiographer to find.  The MRI confirmed not 7 but 13 'complicated' cysts and the 'suspicious' lump looks to be a fibroadenoma (or fatty tissue) ...BUT there's no certainty.  

 

My GP has organised a very precious appointment with another breast surgeon (who returned from holidays last week and closed his books to new patients except those with new symptoms - so I was incredibly lucky to get in) for Friday to talk about the next step.  

 

Does anyone else have a similar story to tell?  With 4 children I am determined to stay here as long as I can - which means I want the left breast removed regardless of whether the lumps are benign.  The past 3 weeks have been an emotional hell and to continue to live with the uncertainty every six months might just do my head in!  

 

My GP reckons I need to learn to 'manage the uncertainty" and I agree - but isn't part of managing it trying to take some control back from this horrible disease?  There's also the unanswered question now of whether I have a genetic predisposition to breast cancer - the genetic tests take months to complete and I'm not sure I want to 'wait and see'.  It seems to me the only way to be somewhat certain (and in control) is to have a mastectomy and then rebuild both breasts instead of one.  That still doesn't guarantee the cancer won't come back but at least it won't come back in my breasts....

 

I would very much appreciate some feedback ladies (and men).....