Forum Discussion
ChristineB
Hi.
I have never been involved in blogging before so please forgive me for any wrong doing it is/not intended. Here I go......
I was diagnosed with early breast cancer 3rd October 2010. I remember this date because it was my son's 25th birthday. To this day I have not told him this. I feel there is no need.
As soon as I felt the lump in my right breast I knew it was cancer.....Sooooo much had been happening in my life up till that time for the last 2 years it didn't surprise me.
What do you do? Laugh, Cry, Scream or maybe even pretend it's not happening.
I didn't do any of the above when diagnosed because I knew it was what it is. Anyway a few days later I was loading my dishwasher, I have a small kitchen, left the lid down for some reason decided to put an item (forgotten what) into the pantry which was opposite the dishwasher then absently mindly decided to move something else to sink, cut a long story short, I fell ove the lid of the open dishwasher went sprawling across the dining room floor with still the canister of only knows what in my hand and landed on the floor. When I hit the the floor I didn't feel a thing no pain but I cried and cried for a long time. This I decided later was my release of anguish of what was about to happen to me.....
I don't want to dwell on the past but maybe just mention I went through 3 months of chemo then a lumposecomy then having found cancer in my lymphnodes a full masectomy then another 3 months of chem then 6 weeks of radiotheraphy.
After 12 months my treatment has finished. Only frustration is getting my prothestis to feel and look real but hey I'm alive and feeling a bit more normal again (whatever that maybe). I'm not sure if I'm the same me, actually I don't think I am inside, but my family and friends feel that I am the same me as before.
My question is how do you explain to family and friends who you care very much about that "Hey I may appear to look and even act the same but I am not the same my perspective on life has changed a lot......
Forgive me for not being me.......
15 Replies
I feel we have reached the "Wise Women:"stage in our lives, some prematurely cos of our diagnosis. I agree about your reluctance to communicate with superficial people, we haven't the energy or will to do that!
It is SO relaxing to be in the company of others who have dealt with similar health issues.
Bel, our meeting next Tuesday (night) has Mandy Gillies from Encore Program coming and the Sept meeting, morning, we will have lovely undies to see with Chrissie from Dickory Dock, Melb. They source their products from Europe.
Take care and keep smiling, xxMandy
Hey Christine
A big welcome to you and so glad you decided to join us and blog. I definitely relate to the so called returning to normal. Unfortunately life will never quite be how it used to be for us. We have had a life changing experience and nothing is going to take that away. I just decided people will have to get used to the new me and I am not going to pretend to be normal to make others happy.
I also relate to your having a damn good cry. I haven't done much of that myself just the occasional little outburst but crying is so healing and I am sure has helped you in some way to get it out.
I am so glad you have found us on this website and decided to share with us. Like Chris says there were a lot of virgin bloggers prior to BC and finding BCNA but you will find it is a great place to be. I am nearly 12 months since my so called final treatment but unfortunately it doesn't end there so that is why we continue to return to blogging and our pink sisters and for me what has become my other family. I have made so many new very special and beautiful friends through BCNA.
I hope you also find a lot of support.
Off and travelling is a wonderful dream come true. Life is short so live for the moment.
Lots of love always, Mich xoxoxoxo
