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ChristineB's avatar
ChristineB
Member
12 years ago

ChristineB

Hi.

I have never been involved in blogging before so please forgive me for any wrong doing it is/not intended.  Here I go......

I was diagnosed with early breast cancer 3rd October 2010.   I remember this date because it was my son's 25th birthday.  To this day I have not told him this.  I feel there is no need.

As soon as I felt the lump in my right breast I knew it was cancer.....Sooooo much had been happening in my life up till that time for the last 2 years it didn't surprise me.

What do you do?  Laugh, Cry, Scream or maybe even pretend it's not happening.

I didn't do any of the above when diagnosed because I knew it was what it is.  Anyway a few days later I was loading my dishwasher, I have a small kitchen, left the lid down for some reason decided to put an item (forgotten what) into the pantry which was opposite the dishwasher then absently mindly decided to move something else to sink, cut a long story short, I fell ove the lid of the open dishwasher went sprawling across the dining room floor with still the canister of only knows what in my hand and landed on the floor.  When I hit the the floor I didn't feel a thing no pain but I cried and cried for a long time.  This I decided later was my release of anguish of what was about to happen to me.....

I don't want to dwell on the past but maybe just mention I went through 3 months of chemo then a lumposecomy then having found cancer in my lymphnodes a full masectomy then another 3 months of chem then 6 weeks  of radiotheraphy.

After 12 months my treatment has finished. Only frustration is getting my prothestis to feel and look real but hey I'm alive and feeling a bit more normal again (whatever that maybe).  I'm not sure if I'm the same me, actually I don't think I am inside, but my family and friends feel that I am  the same me as before.

My question is how do you explain to family and friends who you care very much about that "Hey I may appear to look and even act the same but I am not the same my perspective on life has changed a lot......

Forgive me for not being me.......

 

 

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  • Custard's avatar
    Custard
    Member
    12 years ago

    Yes Chrsitine, and all you others,

    troubles shared certainly helps.

    I felt a pang when I read about your final crying session. It took me 2 years to get to that! And it was over some uncovered ham left in the fridge. I cried so hard and for so long that I was physically exhausted the next day but it was what should have happened ages before.

    You will find a friend at all times of day and night on the web sites, and sometimes we even get to meet each other face to face when wonderful BCNA hold forums, summits or conferences.

    Don't be afraid to chat away, there will always be someone available to link in! Even me away down in Tassie....Mandy xx

  • Custard's avatar
    Custard
    Member
    12 years ago

    Yes Chrsitine, and all you others,

    troubles shared certainly helps.

    I felt a pang when I read about your final crying session. It took me 2 years to get to that! And it was over some uncovered ham left in the fridge. I cried so hard and for so long that I was physically exhausted the next day but it was what should have happened ages before.

    You will find a friend at all times of day and night on the web sites, and sometimes we even get to meet each other face to face when wonderful BCNA hold forums, summits or conferences.

    Don't be afraid to chat away, there will always be someone available to link in! Even me away down in Tassie....Mandy xx

  • Chris's avatar
    Chris
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Christine, I too was a virgin blogger until I discovered this site. My BC was diagnosed on 24 November 2010, but I didn't blog till July the following year. At first I would just read the blogs, but then I decided to give it a go. The support from the lovely ladies on this site is absolutely wonderful, and there is a great sense of belonging here. Our friends might expect that we are back to normal once our hair regrows, but we know that the new normal is quite different to how we were before BC. It is so hard to explain this to someone who hasn't been through what we have been through. I hope you will find as much support as you need from this site. Good luck. Love Chris xx
  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Christine. I was new to blogging too in May this year. Never had done it in my life before but you get used to it really quickly. None of us here care a jot if there are spelling mistakes or muck ups at all its just great to share our experiences and stories. It's so wonderful that your treatment has finished and I can't wait for that day too but I know how you feel about the 'new' you that your family and friends don't see. This journey changes us that only others who have experienced it can understand. I am greatly blessed to have a loving husband, two beautiful children and my family and friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin but like you I am not the same. It's hard to even begin to explain to them isn't it. I have already come to the conclusion that I'm not going to even try. Acceptance is a powerful tool. We ARE alive. Take care of yourself Christine. Love your profile pic by the way. Love Janey xxx
  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Christine. I was new to blogging too in May this year. Never had done it in my life before but you get used to it really quickly. None of us here care a jot if there are spelling mistakes or muck ups at all its just great to share our experiences and stories. It's so wonderful that your treatment has finished and I can't wait for that day too but I know how you feel about the 'new' you that your family and friends don't see. This journey changes us that only others who have experienced it can understand. I am greatly blessed to have a loving husband, two beautiful children and my family and friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin but like you I am not the same. It's hard to even begin to explain to them isn't it. I have already come to the conclusion that I'm not going to even try. Acceptance is a powerful tool. We ARE alive. Take care of yourself Christine. Love your profile pic by the way. Love Janey xxx