@kmakm it’s not a failure -sure there maybe times when we feel let down by our kids but then it’s up to us to sit them down and explain why -preferably when the dust settles when we get a better hearing than a slanging match in the heat of the moment - the latter of which I have been guilty of .But what I find is when you say things in anger in a family you talk about it later and they forgive and move on.Whilst change of behaviour may not be as quick as I’d like - it is thought about and changes occur - but only if I verbalise rather than seeth and do it myself.I guess that’s parenting.
I think kids of all ages need to understand a little of what’s happening to us and how they can help . They experience shock to realise we are fallible and the turmoil of emotions we go through they see and they just don’t know what to do.