I haven’t been on this forum for a very long time and read this post with interest. I joined a support group early last year an advanced breast cancer group after a rather weird interview process of three times before being told I was accepted despite having metastatic breast cancer. Lucky me .....I needed support and kind words of encouragement as I have a family that are non supportive not meaning to be they are kind of over it really and aren’t into it in the beginning or the novelty wore off. Ha not for me. So I saw this Advanced Breast Cancer group with weekly SUPPORT teleconferences and my ears pricked up finally some support others who just may get it and understand. oh wow how wrong I was. It totally did my head in and others expressed the same to me I finally made the move and left expressing the reasons and it didn’t go down very well but I told the truth. It was a group for gifting memory boxes and start packing them for the setting sun you were about to never see. One session I was asked how I was and after expressing I had been dizzy I was informed literally brain mets were common in my dire situation and to have a mri. I spent that entire night frozen with fear and my oncologist organised an immediate MRI I spent two whole weeks sick with fear and when my dear doctor rang burst into uncontrollable tears on her announcement my brain was perfectly fine.It turned out it was the antihistamines I had been taking for a skin reaction to a drug I was on. I knew then the depressing discussions about we had all had it and who had just bitten the bullet and had their last sunset was more detrimental to my health than support. Since one of the other members and I left the group we’ve both been a thousand times happier and healthier. It did our heads in. I would like some support but in a positive happy way because with the wonderful drugs we have these days and our ability to be healthy as we can to fight it we are all defying odds and living longer maybe even able to be that 1 lucky percent that beats stage four cancer in the world. I hope it’s me and each and everyone that has the same on here. And no one has the right to make you feel your doomed with this diagnosis. If we are told we are we may as well be. A support group should be just that. I know ladies encouragement and positivity is just what we need not people who are funded and believe they help us along to our fate and believe accepting it is supportive. Ahhhhhh not on in my opinion ......
