Thanks @kezmusc and @SoldierCrab. You've made be a bit teary with that quote A. Look, I'm functioning (most days). I can laugh and enjoy stuff, but inside I feel bereft and I cannot for the life of me project forward beyond the end of January when the kids go back to school. I'm so afraid to make plans and hope for something because everytime I do, something massively shit happens and it all evaporates. The head is in sand and I'm simply not thinking about it. But in the meantime I'm starting to get excited about being in my beloved India after two of the longest years of my life. And even better, being off that bloody awful but potentially life saving drug for a month. K xox