So confused, scared and teary

Tangerine​  I am SO Sorry to see you join the club that no-one every thought they'd be joining 🙁

Peter Mac has a wonderful reputation so you'll be in good hands!!   Many of our members go Public in many different hospitals - with wonderful results xx  My condolences on losing your Mum xx.  You've had a rough trot recently.  

Try not to get ‘ahead of yourself’ with the ‘what ifs’ ….. as they may never happen - and going down that rabbit hole (specially if using Dr Google) will REALLY muck with your brain  :(  A lot of info on Google doesn’t relate to your diagnosis or is out of date - so put any questions you have, to your medical team (or here!) xx   Take it one day at a time, one hour, if needed ..... but keep trying to do 'stuff you love' too .... so you have good 'down time' as well! 

This diagnosis can really muck with your brain too - so if you feel sad, angry, distressed - that is absolutely 100% NORMAL!  But you don't have to 'do it' on your own!  .... ask your GP (or your treating team) for a referral to see a counsellor .... or listen to Charlotte Tottman's podcast (link below.)  You can also ring our Helpline on 1800 500 258 for a confidential one-on-one chat xx   

Charlotte Tottman  is a BC specialist counsellor who was diagnosed herself, also had a double mastectomy, so knows EXACTLY what we've all been thru, both emotionally and physically!  Her reaction to her own diagnosis was also quite different to what she 'thought' it might be, given that she'd been counseling women's reactions for some years before, so thought she 'new' what to expect!  She is VERY easy to listen to, too xx
http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html. 

Raelene Boyle's video is also well worth watching! 
https://www.bcna.org.au/resource-hub/podcasts/upfront-about-breast-cancer/upfront-about-breast-cancer/episode-21-raelene-boyle-on-pulling-herself-out-of-the-darkness/

You've found the right spot here tho, for support & info from those who've 'been there, done that'! So hopefully we'll be able to smooth the way for your own story.  Whack up ANY question - remember there are NO dumb questions!!!  Make sure you take a trusted friend or family member with you to your appointments, as a 'backup set of ears', as it is difficult remembering everything that is said.  Also, consider recording your sessions on your phone, so you can go over it again later, for the same reason. 😉

Mine was ILC (Invasive Lobular Cancer) - I was lucky to only have the one lumpectomy, rads & tablets .... and have recently finished with the tabs now!

There is HEAPS of handy info in the link below to help you navigate the blog, including what to take with you to hospital etc - and also some tools to evaluate your own physical and mental recovery thru your ongoing treatment! xx.

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussions/general-discussion/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members-/222737

Take care & all the best for your surgery & ongoing treatment xx