New diagnosis, mum guilt and surgery

I am So sorry to see you joining our select little group Bon20​   xx   …. everyone remembers the shock of hearing the ‘diagnosis:  “You've got breast cancer” ..... Causing sadness, distress and even anger.  It really mucks with your brain.  It is highly stressful & upsetting in the early days of diagnosis - so if you feel a bit overwhelmed by it all, give our Helpline a bell on 1800 500 258 for a confidential calming chat xx.

I'd suggest you join the private Breast Reconstruction Group - where you can ask specific questions (and read previous posts) to glean any tips from those who've gone before you xx

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/choosing-breast-reconstruction

Have they talked about chemo/other treatment as well?  Is your diagnosis Triple Positive (with 'low' Her2+?)  If 'yes'. we have a Triple Positive Group as well.

Group: Triple Positive Breast Cancer (TPBC) | BCNA Online Network

Make sure you take a trusted friend or relative with you to your meetings from now on & consider recording them too, on your phone xx. It is almost impossible to remember everything & this way you can go back over it in the quiet of your home & take notes. xx  Planning is good ... but sometimes the plan can change on an 'as needs' bass ... so try to be flexible there xx

Keep yourself as busy as you can between now & surgery - doing things you love doing (and the more practical things too, like cooking etc.)  You may need to organise mowing and other household chores too - as you'll not be allowed to do any lifting for some time after your surgery (including picking up your kids!)  Then, as you recover, get back to them as well, as it is good for the soul to get back to doing stuff you love doing!

I hope you have good partner & family support to help with the little ones during your hospital stays & recovery xx    Cooking up their favourite meals & freezing them (for yourself as well) in the lead-up to surgery will help keep you busy and also make it easier once you are home again. 

Consider listening to Charlotte Tottman's Podcasts on her own experience with BC - she is a specialist breast cancer Counsellor who had a double mastectomy, choosing to stay flat - and was surprised at her own reaction to the news, when she'd been counseling others for many years & thought she 'knew it'!  She has done 2 'podcast seasons' ... check out the 1st season, right from her diagnosis onwards and how she coped, then move on to the 2nd season. She is very easy to listen to & you'll probably recognise your own reactions in many of the podcasts. 
http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html

Check out this thread too - there is a lot of info on the forum & what to take with you to hospital - even 'tick sheets' that you can fill in to take with you to your appointments on your mental & physical health .... this info has been gleaned from many of our members over the years ... I hope it helps you xx
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members#latest

If you continue updating us on this thread, it'll become a bit of a diary for you as well xx

take care & wishing you all the best