Welcome, @Olivegreen, and my gosh you express yourself so well.
After jockeying eight months for a diagnosis, I too was suddenly faced with the loss of a breast. I accepted it readily: my cancer was very rare, and aggressive, and at 75 I would not consider reconstruction. This was during Covid lockdown, and I had no (effective) McGrath nurse, so I just went for it. Everybody’s different, and of course if I had been younger, or had more of my person invested in my body, I would probably have felt rather differently.
Anyway, I’m here to reassure you that the procedure itself was not traumatic and, after 18 months, I am quite at peace with my flat left chest. I’m still contemplating a prophylactic mastectomy on the right, just to avoid hassles with bras, prostheses, knitted knockers and chicken fillets.
Believe me, it’s quite a journey, but you will find greater clarity as you progress. You will find great support on this site, and there are no silly questions.
Best wishes