Waves on the sand, waiting for the Tsunami...

Hi Jak,

You have described perfectly how it feels when you or someone you love is diagnosed.  I'm 36 and I was diagnosed in May...and have kids a similar age to yours (mine are 5 and 2).  After having a mastectomy I had 4 rounds of chemo (Taxotere and Cycol..something!!) Even now I still don't know what the initials all mean!! lol!!  I am now having Hereceptin every 3 weeks and I take Tamoxifen.  I inititally felt I was getting kicked in the stomach each time I got test results and it can be very draining and very scary.  However, it does get easier to manage as time goes on and you have time to process what is happening.  

As for tips for your Mum...

Drink plenty of water the day before, during chemo and day after to flush it out.

Brush your teeth after each meal and gargle with warm salt water to help minimise any mouth infections

When she feels like eating...tell her to eat whatever she likes (for me it was chicken snitzel...which is even more crazy given that I couldn't even taste it!)

If your Mum has to have Hereceptin too (sounds like she was HER2 positive on one side) then consider getting a port put in before chemo starts.  This device goes under the skin, usually in your chest, but sometimes the arm, and gives the nurses direct access to your veins for treatment.  I didn't do at the start of chemo when it was offered because I couldn't face another procedure...but I wish I had of.  I had to have it done later on as the poor nurses just could not get a vein anywhere. 

A psychologist who has experience with cancer can be a great help.  I have been seeing one and she is amazing.

Try not to focus on all the side effects listed.  Instead, be prepared with things like a digital thermometer, soft too brush etc, but just go with it.  Everyone reacts differently.

Use the resources avaiable to you at the Hospital, through the Cancer Council etc.  They are fantastic.

This is advice for you and your Mum...cry when you want to and laugh too (becuase there will be some funny moments...it is inevitable when little ones are around...they really put things into perspective!)  Look after yourselves...try and get plently of rest but throw in some exercise when you can.  It sounds like you are doing an amazing job supporting your Mum, and if your experience is anything like mine, you and your family will come out the other side with a stronger bond that you never thought possible.

 Wishing you all the very best!