Leonie, I dont have all the answers but as Nonie would say travel while you are well ( if you want to).
We also had $$ to think of, she was younger than yourself. I kept working in agreement with her, though her passing was sudden that is one of the hard things and is why i say just organise everything and keep fighting.
As for society stuff them you do what you and your husband want to do .
In life there is only health and happiness....
I can understand why men have trouble facing this but you would be surprised at the number of women i know who block it out, it wont happen to me attitude
???
??As an aside Nonie's brother passed in April from cancer..