Forum Discussion
shielsda
15 years agoMember
Stage 2 breast cancer
My name is David and I lost my beloved Wife suddenly on July 11 2011 to Secondary cancer. We were very close and to lose someone in their early fifties is so sad.
What is so hard is nothing was prepared for this or expected. The doctors were shocked. What I can say is please organise your afffairs and pray they are not needed. From this sorrow I will be starting a group for oz men who have lost their partners to breast cancer and also a directory of things to be done, a checklist if you like in the event this occurs.
My darling Nonie was so strong and a fighter and this is what I tell you ladies, be strong, optimistic, and keep fighting..Unlike my sweetheart you will win...!!!
22 Replies
- shielsdaMember
Hi Linda, Thank for your comment, the kids are also wearing their bands and pins..WITH PRIDE..
David
- shielsdaMember
Ros, I do not mind at all if you post here..i feel close to the women that blog here even though i do not know them personally. Please read the whole story as there are some wonderful responses. I have a good mate (he is a writer) best man at our wedding and he has M.S. so i post on his website so everywhere for everyone. I am daily amazed at the number of women who refuse to even acknowledge B.C. Oh i get mammo's so i am ok. Nonie's scans wer fully clear two weeks before she found the lump in her breast and lasted less than a year. I am not being negative, just stating fact.. This is why i harp on the need of people getting their affairs in order..Take care be HAPPY.
David
Hi David,
I just wanted to apologise for placing my question in the middle of your story....I was trying to learn how to navigate this site prior to going to Melbourne Summit.
I am so sorry that you have lost your precious wife so young. Thankyou for the advice and I will take it onboard (no affairs in order, not even remotely). I did end up at the Melbourne summit and wanted to let you know that BCNA are in the process of starting a support group for partners. Keep a watch for this, Ive noticed that Di has been chatting to you so i am sure she will keep you up to date. i havent read all the replies or discussions that you have had, but yes we always must be on the lookout for anything that may posibly cause any form of cancer.
As for the writstband and pink pin, David "wear it with pride", no matter what others say/think. Cancer has given me enormous courage, and it sounds to me like you have also great courage and strength and determination. We will all fight hard and strong, and please dont be scared of sharing with us. Leonie who has posted is a truly gorgeous woman in every form - and hung out with and danced with all of us over the summit. You have been chatting to some really lovely and terrific girls, and I need to just say how happy I was that you work in IT, yet struggle with this site. Geez that made me laugh...I felt like such an idiot because I have struggled so... and you have made me feel human!! that is how my post ended up on your blog, and have had some intensive one on one training with Di at the Summit. Keep chatting/talking/blogging, do what you need to get through each day, hang in there, I am so proud of you, best wishes Ros.
Hi David,
I just wanted to apologise for placing my question in the middle of your story....I was trying to learn how to navigate this site prior to going to Melbourne Summit.
I am so sorry that you have lost your precious wife so young. Thankyou for the advice and I will take it onboard (no affairs in order, not even remotely). I did end up at the Melbourne summit and wanted to let you know that BCNA are in the process of starting a support group for partners. Keep a watch for this, Ive noticed that Di has been chatting to you so i am sure she will keep you up to date. i havent read all the replies or discussions that you have had, but yes we always must be on the lookout for anything that may posibly cause any form of cancer.
As for the writstband and pink pin, David "wear it with pride", no matter what others say/think. Cancer has given me enormous courage, and it sounds to me like you have also great courage and strength and determination. We will all fight hard and strong, and please dont be scared of sharing with us. Leonie who has posted is a truly gorgeous woman in every form - and hung out with and danced with all of us over the summit. You have been chatting to some really lovely and terrific girls, and I need to just say how happy I was that you work in IT, yet struggle with this site. Geez that made me laugh...I felt like such an idiot because I have struggled so... and you have made me feel human!! that is how my post ended up on your blog, and have had some intensive one on one training with Di at the Summit. Keep chatting/talking/blogging, do what you need to get through each day, hang in there, I am so proud of you, best wishes Ros.
- shielsdaMember
I now wear with pride a wristband (bit tight, do not know why they sent me the small size) and the pink lady badge..I was stopped in the street today by a woman who asked me why i was wearing a badge made for women with B.C. they she said, are for women. I explained why, and that is in memory of my darling..i do not think this appeased her, Anyway it got me thinking we should have a badge for partners who have lost their spouse to B.C. Anyone got any thoughts on this.
David
- shielsdaMember
Cathy, What i am trying to say with the analogy of dementia..Is one of the answer's to B.C. might come from left field. A case in point being Malaria, for years doctors/scientists beleived it was spread through the air (thus the name comes from Italian for bad air) and as we now know it's mozzies. I do not have answers, but i do use lateral thinking.. It is to late for my darling, but not others. It does not hurt to question..
David
- shielsdaMember
Ros, I don't know how this ended up on my blog, but thats okay.. I would talk to your oncologist/specialist..as Nonie had some of this caused by not moving about enough to get the blood circulating and the affects of drugs, especially if you are having chermo. I would be wary of gp's md's , in they can often give wrong diagnosis mainly because of not having the knowledge..This also happened with Nonie. It is funny, people will get three quotes for car insurance and beleive one doctor. Go figure !
Take care, stay warm
David
We doing my best to try and navigate this website prior to going to summit!! :)
Anyway, for over three weeks i have had quite strong pins and needles in both hands and feet. I have no idea what the cause could be GP tol me to wait a few weeks and come back, but I was just curious if anyone else had this problem. It is nothing serious but I did have a thought about paclitaxel doing some nerve damage....and just wondered if it is only starting to become apparent now.
so any advice thoughts would be welcome, just curious ??
thanks Ros
- shielsdaMember
Kathy, Thank you for replying and your kind words. I know Nonie's Oncologist has an open mind on this subject. I would be interested in looking at the studies done. Using deodorants or not using, male v female percentages.Areas especially in Europe wher women do not shave their armpits what are those statistics. I write and decode cryptic crosswords and where i work we have a lockdown Alzheimers wing and the patients gain benefit from puzzles/ jigsaws etc. I have a belief that doing cryptic xwords can possibley stave of dementia.As you are using the part of the brain that cells die causing dementia. I have no proof of this but am yet to find anyone who was heavily into cryptology, aquiring Alzheimers. Looking at different things might trigger more research and find some answers for this hideous discease..I will look at Breastcancer.org. I might be going up the wrong path but i beleive it is worth exploring.
Thank You David
- Kathy_BCNAMember
Hi David
This is Kathy from BCNA's Policy Team. Di has asked me to reply to your questions about deodorant and breast cancer risk.
As you have found, there is no conclusive evidence that using anti-perspirants or deodorants can increase a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer. The US National Institutes of Health, which is the US government's principal agency for cancer research and training, has a fact sheet available on its website which talks about this issue. That is the best information I can point you towards.
If you are interested in reading more about breast cancer risk factors, you might like to look at the Breastcancer.org website. This is a US-based website which we often refer to. It provides reliable, quality information. It also finds there is no scientific evidence that deodorants increase breast cancer risk.
David, like so many others who have responded to your blog, I would like to extend to you my sympathies on Nonie's passing.
Kathy