Hi Mich,
I love reading other peoples stories (not because I love to hear about people's pain, but because it makes me realise I'm definitely not as alone as I feel!) and again, I'm glad you have such a wonderful family with you through it. I honestly couldn't or wouldn't be anywhere else right now. I feel guilty at this point for even going to work and being away from Mum. She just finished her second round of chemo and is feeling pretty awful, but this afternoon she came good. I think losing her taste for things is driving her nuts. She seems to have these insatiable cravings because nothing tastes as she wants it too. She tells me how much she craves an ice cold coca cola, but each time she takes a sip she complains that its like "pesticide" lol.
I think my frustrations about the "right" thing is not aimed at any particular person, but I suppose more with the fact that there is no single "right thing" that anyone could say that could take the weight away from what is going on. Also, I've found out how good my "good" friends are and how hopeless the people that I thought I could rely on are.
For me, personally I am living away from all of my friends and family (besides my Mum) as they are all in NSW and I'm in Victoria therefore besides a few older ladies I know from my church, I have no real supportive network here -- and in the really bad days I am doing it entirely alone. My boyfriend is lovely, but like most men he lacks the communication skills to know how to really respond in, again, "the right way" also, he works interstate during the week so I only see him weekends and that feels like its my only escape at this point...
My Mums husband is a bit disappointing, but I just don't think he knows how to react exactly, which is frustrating for all, and maybe even for him too... but I'm feeling currently like everything is falling upon my shoulders and it gets a bit lonely. My Mum and I don't "do" crying very often and certainly not in front of one another (haha aahhhh acid tearsss!) so it all can get overwhelming from time-to-time.
Also -- since you had chemo, heres a question -- I shaved her head at her request the same night of her second round of treatment because it was coming out in clumps. I did it with a pair of clippers but she still has the little stubs of hair (like a crew cut) and its bothering her, and we haven't found a successful way to get rid of it. Any suggestions? We did use the fluff removal sticky roller thing today and it worked (much to our amusement) to a certain degree, but shes complaining about it a lot.
Thank you for your lovely message. Sad that we have to go down this road, any of us, for your daughters, husband, family and esp for you... I wish you all the best too. Thanks for your support. :)
With love,
Jess
