Seeking support and friendship
Hello lovely people, My mum was diagnosed with early breast cancer last Thursday. I felt a rush of mixed emotions and thoughts. I felt scared, upset, sad, and isolated. My dad passed away just over a...
Forum Discussion
@Dani1981 You come on here whenever you need. This forum is for anyone affected by breast cancer, you don't have to actually have it.
As the others have said, be guided by your mum, but don't be afraid to push a bit. Some people diagnosed seek to 'protect' their loved ones by not talking about it, even if they want to. She might want to talk, but not to you! Don't be offended.
There is no 'right' way to feel. You feel what you feel, and like many life experiences, your feelings will change over time. Feel all the feelings! And if you need support just for you, don't hesitate to find it.
Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in Australian women. One in seven of us will be diagnosed with it. Your mum will not be the last person you know to have it.
Early diagnosis is good, no spread is good. Please, please, please don't waste your time and emotional energy in feeling guilty. Cancer sucks arse no matter how it touches you. My mother was diagnosed when I was 20 (in 1986) and it was bloody scary. So cry, scream, get furious or whatever you need to do, with people you trust and know you can rely on. Speaking as a mum who had breast cancer, it was a help to know my children were venting their feelings and being supported by their friends, so do tell your mum that your mates are looking after you and to not worry about that.
I went private, virtually blindly, and would not do it again (though I wouldn't change my breast surgeon for anything). We all have different experiences, but my overall impression is that the care and support in the public system is better, more comprehensive.
Do let us know what town or city you're in. Someone may be able to give you some local advice. For example, I'm in the outer-east of Melbourne. We have an excellent breast and cancer centre attached to the local public hospital. They have a community counsellor and breastcare nurses who could talk to you if you wanted to make an appointment.
Does your mum have a breastcare nurse yet? They are usually happy to talk to and support all members of the family. You could also ring the McGrath Foundation and ask to speak to the nurse for your area. Breastcare nurses can be a bit hit and miss, but the good ones are worth their weight in gold. If you see a private breast surgeon they often have them attached to their service.
The biggest of hugs Dani, K xox
As the others have said, be guided by your mum, but don't be afraid to push a bit. Some people diagnosed seek to 'protect' their loved ones by not talking about it, even if they want to. She might want to talk, but not to you! Don't be offended.
There is no 'right' way to feel. You feel what you feel, and like many life experiences, your feelings will change over time. Feel all the feelings! And if you need support just for you, don't hesitate to find it.
Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in Australian women. One in seven of us will be diagnosed with it. Your mum will not be the last person you know to have it.
Early diagnosis is good, no spread is good. Please, please, please don't waste your time and emotional energy in feeling guilty. Cancer sucks arse no matter how it touches you. My mother was diagnosed when I was 20 (in 1986) and it was bloody scary. So cry, scream, get furious or whatever you need to do, with people you trust and know you can rely on. Speaking as a mum who had breast cancer, it was a help to know my children were venting their feelings and being supported by their friends, so do tell your mum that your mates are looking after you and to not worry about that.
I went private, virtually blindly, and would not do it again (though I wouldn't change my breast surgeon for anything). We all have different experiences, but my overall impression is that the care and support in the public system is better, more comprehensive.
Do let us know what town or city you're in. Someone may be able to give you some local advice. For example, I'm in the outer-east of Melbourne. We have an excellent breast and cancer centre attached to the local public hospital. They have a community counsellor and breastcare nurses who could talk to you if you wanted to make an appointment.
Does your mum have a breastcare nurse yet? They are usually happy to talk to and support all members of the family. You could also ring the McGrath Foundation and ask to speak to the nurse for your area. Breastcare nurses can be a bit hit and miss, but the good ones are worth their weight in gold. If you see a private breast surgeon they often have them attached to their service.
The biggest of hugs Dani, K xox