Screaming inside
I need to vent. I want to scream, slam doors, hit something
Two days ago my daughter visited & told me she has been diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. She was strong, composed, not emotional
as...
Forum Discussion
@Allie_P - I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's diagnosis and of your own family history with BC. It really is a bitch of a disease. With the family history - further down the track, genetic testing to see if she has the BRCA gene may well be suggested, so the kids can be aware of their risk as well. Do not blame yourself at all - it is what it is.
Sometimes family members & friends go into denial when someone close to them is diagnosed with BC & are scared to get checked - so don't have mammograms - are you sure that she wasn't checked? Either way, I wouldn't bring it up again. I wonder if she has dense breast tissue? It is more difficult for mammograms to pickup BC as both the dense breast tissue & cancer show as 'white' on the screen - with many cancers not being detected until the it is larger and more advanced? If she has daughters, it is something they may need to be aware of too.
How old is your daughter? The kids? What town/city do you live in? Some of our Members may be aware of specific services in the area that may be useful to them. There are also groups who may be able to help the kids as well - Canteen is one (I think the kids need to be over 12 to join that one.)
That is terrific that she has good friends to lean on as well as yourself and your husband, shocked & stunned tho you are - the kids will need your love & support to help them thru this as well. We have many members with Mets who are living productive, even happy lives on medication and who are many years down the track. Some advanced cancers are slower growing than others - fingers & toes crossed that hers is. (You may like to join the Mets Group here, to ask more specific questions as your daughter's treatment progresses.) She may like to join as well once the shock wears off. If you think your 'name' is a giveaway to her - you can ask the mods to change it to something less recognisable.
Your anger & level of upset are totally justifiable - do what you have to do to remain calm & supportive in her presence. Tho sometimes a good cry together can be quite cathartic. I was pretty strong until I saw my best friend who lived in the country - we'd been thru school together - and we both just dissolved into sobs in each other's arms. I nursed my husband thru cancer 10 years ago & thought I 'knew all about it' - but when I was diagnosed 2 years ago, it hit me like cricket bat to the head.
All the best for your daughter's first chemo session - and our thoughts are with all of you at this time xxx
Sometimes family members & friends go into denial when someone close to them is diagnosed with BC & are scared to get checked - so don't have mammograms - are you sure that she wasn't checked? Either way, I wouldn't bring it up again. I wonder if she has dense breast tissue? It is more difficult for mammograms to pickup BC as both the dense breast tissue & cancer show as 'white' on the screen - with many cancers not being detected until the it is larger and more advanced? If she has daughters, it is something they may need to be aware of too.
How old is your daughter? The kids? What town/city do you live in? Some of our Members may be aware of specific services in the area that may be useful to them. There are also groups who may be able to help the kids as well - Canteen is one (I think the kids need to be over 12 to join that one.)
That is terrific that she has good friends to lean on as well as yourself and your husband, shocked & stunned tho you are - the kids will need your love & support to help them thru this as well. We have many members with Mets who are living productive, even happy lives on medication and who are many years down the track. Some advanced cancers are slower growing than others - fingers & toes crossed that hers is. (You may like to join the Mets Group here, to ask more specific questions as your daughter's treatment progresses.) She may like to join as well once the shock wears off. If you think your 'name' is a giveaway to her - you can ask the mods to change it to something less recognisable.
Your anger & level of upset are totally justifiable - do what you have to do to remain calm & supportive in her presence. Tho sometimes a good cry together can be quite cathartic. I was pretty strong until I saw my best friend who lived in the country - we'd been thru school together - and we both just dissolved into sobs in each other's arms. I nursed my husband thru cancer 10 years ago & thought I 'knew all about it' - but when I was diagnosed 2 years ago, it hit me like cricket bat to the head.
All the best for your daughter's first chemo session - and our thoughts are with all of you at this time xxx