Nat update

Hi Sue

So sorry to hear about your and Nat's shit day. I am having a shit day too. I am blabbing again today too. Some days I just feel as if I am such a weak person and that I should just suck it up and get on with things. But then I remind myself that acknowledging that this is a shit day, IS how we keep going. The tears have a purpose. There has to be an outlet otherwise we'd go insane. Having a bad day lets us recognise the good days. We can't have one without the other. Hating this cancer shit makes us love other things about our life more.

My beautiful 18 yr old son gave me such a shock last week when I came home from work and he had completely shaved his head in support of me starting chemo. It was so sweet but to be honest it broke my heart just a little to think that he made himself look like that for me. This same son told me years before that the heart is a muscle. And just like other muscles, when it breaks it mends and then grows back stronger. That thought sometimes makes me feel that the horrible feeling we get as mothers when something is hurting our kids - that deep ache I get in my chest when I am worried or hurting for my sons - has a purpose. That ache is making me stronger. No pain no gain. That heartache you feel, while shitty, is helping you love your daughter even more. Does that make sense?

I am wishing you and Nat all the very best. Both of you are in my prayers.

Nadine