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Scared_Mum's avatar
Scared_Mum
Member
10 years ago

My baby has breast cancer

I dont know if I am allowed to post here? but I am struggling to find any support for me as a mother of a 21yr old with breast cancer, (Admin please delete me if necessary) 

My daughter found a lump 14/08/15 and I went into panic mode I had her to the doctors the next day, the doctor was very reassuring and said lets get an ultra sound and a fine needle biopsy just to be sure, good I thought!!  I will feel better to have it checked ( I have heard all the horror stories of doctors fobbing off patients) The results came back as inconclusive further testing required (my inner spider senses went into over drive) the doctor was lovely and had in to the specialist within 3 days (mm I think she was worried to ) he wanted a core biopsy right now ugg now I'm panicking (inside)  results came back again inconclusive uggg.

So the surgery date was set for her lumpectomy I took her in and tried to not cry (while she was in the room ), gee that was hard. We had an appointment in 10 days to take out the stitches so we went about our lives . had decided to go camping for the long weekend (I would sit her in a chair by the river to recuperate. We were half way up the river when we got the call form the specialist that my baby had breast cancer (decision do we turn around and go home or keep going) the doc said keep going it was the longest 2 hour drive I have had towing a 2 ton van, I had to keep stopping to compose my self (blaming the dog he need to get out of the car lol) all the family came camping to which was great. I got results for my breast scan while we away and I'm fine no breast cancer and I think that is when I came unraveled what the hell!!! my baby has it and I don't It's not fair and I lost it and crumbled into a blubbering mess again.. :(  That turned to anger and I'm a blubbering mess again.. my friends (cyber ) kept telling me to think positively that I don't have it and its a good thing I'm sure they don't have kids or they would never say that, I would die for my kids :/

We hit the ground running on the Tuesday first appointment 8.15 am with the specialist who gave us the run down again (didn't remember a word he said on the phone after he said I'm sorry you have breast cancer need chemo and radiation  to my daughter.) we had tests/scans everyday that week We were exhausted (she more than I ) even though waiting rooms are tiring lol  Then we had fertility appointments to freeze my grand-babies just in case chemo kills her ovaries and they don't start again but they may because of her age they may (isn't the human body fantastic ) 

We only had one specialist appointment this week then he decided that his stenographers were better than the place we went to ugg now I'm really scared why? what was he thinking? my brain going in to overdrive (dam google I was told not to go on it but hey she is my baby I'm going to research ) I'm in tears again...

This week round two all booked in for more surgery on the 19/10/15 to excise more tissue and she has to have lymphscintgraphy to see if it has got into her lymph nodes (cross your fingers please ) Thursday this week we start fertility treatments then the full on  treatments start chemo  

 I'm sorry I'm upset and angry all rolled in to one I cant stop crying I guess because I cant fix my baby like I have always done. :( Thanks for listening xx 

 

 

family

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  • Cook65's avatar
    Cook65
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi there

    Of course you are scared. It's a scary thing. I always said I was glad it was me and not one of my kids.  One thing to be grateful for is that your GP took it seriously and persevered with testing. I have met a couple of young women in my travels who were told they couldn't possibly have cancer because they were too young and by the time they were finally diagnosed they were stage 4. 

    The other girls are right. All you can do is take one day at a time. Write down your questions for the doctors and if necessary write the answers down so that you can go over them again later. Get a my journey kit for your daughter and you can both read it. It has lots of useful information. The early days of the unknown are particularly hard. It's ok to cry, be angry and upset. Try to be honest with your feelings.  There will be times that you will feel completely useless but trust me, just being there counts for a lot. Accept any help you are offered and remember that this illness will take it's toll on the people surrounding your daughter as well. Look after yourself as she is going to need you. I wish you, your daughter and your family all the best. Karen xox

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Thanks for coming to this site, I hope that we can give both you and your daughter some support. It is so much like being in a fog when this first process begins, and finding out the extent of the damage is worse again. Please keep checking in to the site, as you'll get lots of support and advice along the way. Just take it 1 appointment at a time, and take a notepad and pen into the appointment with you,so that you can get your questions answered, and can write it all down to refer back. Feeling for you and sending you all a big cuddle, Trace ????

  • emmyp's avatar
    emmyp
    Member
    10 years ago

    Great big hugs to you.   I am the baby although not quite as young as your daughter.   Earlier this year my mum had a mammogram and had to go back for more tests she was fine and a few months later I was not fine.  I know she has found it hard and she has said it would have been better and easier if it was her.  But she has been the best support for me and come to all my chemo and any appointments that I asked her to come to and helped with my little boy.  You just have to tell her how much you love her and be there for her. We are much all so much stronger than we think and with your support she will find all the strength she needs to make it through this tough time.  Big hugs to her too.

    Love Emma Xx

  • Scared_Mum's avatar
    Scared_Mum
    Member
    10 years ago

    Thank you ladies I have struggled with it all,even reading the stories on here as me bursting into tears( yep I'm a sook lol) I guess because its all still so new, but if I'm welcome to chat here I'm sure you will all help us through it 

    Thanks so much 

  • CarmelS's avatar
    CarmelS
    Member
    10 years ago

    I can't  imagine your anguish over your daughter, even though most of us on here have had BC I think watching your child go through this is going to be one of the hardest things you will do. Having said that, now the statistics are very good for quite a few of us, & there are so many new drugs available both to treat the cancer & to help with side effects from those life saving drugs. It's going to be a rough ride, so buckle up ! Get on here to ask questions  or even to have a moan........we all do,  even years on !

    Stay strong.

    Carmel

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi and welcome to the site. I read this and started to cry my heart goes out to you. Going through my own trip I have always had this fear for my daughter as her grandmother on her fathers side had bc and now my trip. I'm terrified for her. Your daughter is so lucky she has you to be there for her. This site is safer to ask questions than dr google there is alot of crap out there.Have a list of questions for doc or the breast care nurse Good luck on Monday try and take it one day at a time Sending you both hugsxx