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Scared_Mum's avatar
Scared_Mum
Member
10 years ago

My baby has breast cancer

I dont know if I am allowed to post here? but I am struggling to find any support for me as a mother of a 21yr old with breast cancer, (Admin please delete me if necessary) 

My daughter found a lump 14/08/15 and I went into panic mode I had her to the doctors the next day, the doctor was very reassuring and said lets get an ultra sound and a fine needle biopsy just to be sure, good I thought!!  I will feel better to have it checked ( I have heard all the horror stories of doctors fobbing off patients) The results came back as inconclusive further testing required (my inner spider senses went into over drive) the doctor was lovely and had in to the specialist within 3 days (mm I think she was worried to ) he wanted a core biopsy right now ugg now I'm panicking (inside)  results came back again inconclusive uggg.

So the surgery date was set for her lumpectomy I took her in and tried to not cry (while she was in the room ), gee that was hard. We had an appointment in 10 days to take out the stitches so we went about our lives . had decided to go camping for the long weekend (I would sit her in a chair by the river to recuperate. We were half way up the river when we got the call form the specialist that my baby had breast cancer (decision do we turn around and go home or keep going) the doc said keep going it was the longest 2 hour drive I have had towing a 2 ton van, I had to keep stopping to compose my self (blaming the dog he need to get out of the car lol) all the family came camping to which was great. I got results for my breast scan while we away and I'm fine no breast cancer and I think that is when I came unraveled what the hell!!! my baby has it and I don't It's not fair and I lost it and crumbled into a blubbering mess again.. :(  That turned to anger and I'm a blubbering mess again.. my friends (cyber ) kept telling me to think positively that I don't have it and its a good thing I'm sure they don't have kids or they would never say that, I would die for my kids :/

We hit the ground running on the Tuesday first appointment 8.15 am with the specialist who gave us the run down again (didn't remember a word he said on the phone after he said I'm sorry you have breast cancer need chemo and radiation  to my daughter.) we had tests/scans everyday that week We were exhausted (she more than I ) even though waiting rooms are tiring lol  Then we had fertility appointments to freeze my grand-babies just in case chemo kills her ovaries and they don't start again but they may because of her age they may (isn't the human body fantastic ) 

We only had one specialist appointment this week then he decided that his stenographers were better than the place we went to ugg now I'm really scared why? what was he thinking? my brain going in to overdrive (dam google I was told not to go on it but hey she is my baby I'm going to research ) I'm in tears again...

This week round two all booked in for more surgery on the 19/10/15 to excise more tissue and she has to have lymphscintgraphy to see if it has got into her lymph nodes (cross your fingers please ) Thursday this week we start fertility treatments then the full on  treatments start chemo  

 I'm sorry I'm upset and angry all rolled in to one I cant stop crying I guess because I cant fix my baby like I have always done. :( Thanks for listening xx 

 

 

family
  • lrb_03's avatar
    lrb_03
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi. My heart goes out to you. You've definitely come to the right place for support. 

    I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling, but send big hugs

    Lyn xx

  • Scared_Mum's avatar
    Scared_Mum
    Member
    10 years ago

    I have tried to comment back to you all with out blubbering (no luck there ) I Thank you so much ladies you have all made me feel so much better I will take your advice and support and love on board,

    Im sorry to read all your struggles with this bloody (there is no nice words ) awful disease and now know to awful and big hugs to you all from us xx

    I know it is going to be a really tough ride (I have stopped asking dr google ) as you have said everyone's treatment is different, so I'm probably worrying unnecessarily (but gee its hard ). I will be by her side every step of the way and hopefully tomorrow I will meet the same nurses and last time that fobbed off my questions as "she wont have it stop worrying" and wouldn't answer my questions, I know they could have probably seen the worry on my face and were trying to stop me from worrying but It made my worry worse.  

    Toady we went to a breast cancer fundraiser that the onkaparinga council (here in SA) organised mmm I wasn't that impressed there was NO information on breast cancer at all... not even a pink ribbon stand to buy the merchandise (a bit sad really)  

    So tomorrow morning we are off the second surgery and pray it hasn't got into her lymph nodes

    Thank you for listening

    Love to you all 

    Sue xxx

  • Cook65's avatar
    Cook65
    Member
    10 years ago

    All the best for tomorrow. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts. Xox

  • Scared_Mum's avatar
    Scared_Mum
    Member
    10 years ago

    UPDATE:

    My daughter had her lymphscintgraphy (Emla cream although very expensive is worth every cent and more! she is very petrified of needles and had been told this test was very painful she didn't feel a thing yah!! ) surgery on Monday two of her lymph nodes lite up and were removed (cross your fingers ) we are awaiting the results on Monday next week, she is battered, bruised and swollen  and in pain my poor baby but in highish spirits (I don't know how? )

    I had to to take her to the gp today as they didn't give her any pain meds to go home with (panadol was supposed to ok mmmm nope wasn't touching the pain )

    She doesn't have time to recover as we are off the fertility clinic Friday was supposed to be tomorrow but they stuffed up the appointment time thank goodness as she/we need a day off 

    I had to go to my gyno today told him I don't care about me right now I need to concentrate on my daughter we can fix me (Its not urgent! I can suck it up ) later next year some time when this was over, (he needed to know why? which meant I was blubbering again lol )  anyway to cut a long story short, turns out he is the head of the fertility at the hosp and will be taking her case and looking after her yah! 

    Thanks for listening 

    Cheers Sue xx

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Hi Sue, it sounds like your daughter is progressing along ok, and you'll probably both feel better when you have an accurate idea of the pathology. The treatment team will talk with you both about treatment options available, so that you can decide on a plan. Sending you a cuddle for your tears, sounds very normal to me, just let it out as you go along. I hope that your daughters results are not too bad. BC is one of the more treatable cancers, these guys really know what they are doing. Ask lots of questions, so that you understand the why and wherefores along the way. Please keep checking in with us all, you'll get lots of support and advice, big hugs, Trace ??????

  • ScorpionQueen's avatar
    ScorpionQueen
    Member
    10 years ago

    I've only just found your posts. 

    My daughter is 23 and I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling, hearing news like this for yourself is horrible enough, but your child? wow....

    You are in the right place for sure....we are, unfortunately, in this together, we are fighting for the same thing, to live and to bash this bitch called cancer to a pulp!

    It's going to be tough, no way of "fluffing" it up that's for sure, but know this...we got both your backs.....and while we all have our family and friend support networks, it's good to have a space you can go and say things that you may not otherwise....

    Wishing you and your daughter all the very best...I know as a Mum we like to think we are SuperHuman when it comes to our kids, but don't forget to take care of you too!

    Love and light for easy recovery and beautiful days....

    - Tracy

    stay strong|breathe|believe