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How do you be supportive when your your mother doesn't want to disclose all of the information?
Hi - this is my first time on here. Brief history - my mother, a year ago was diagnosed with breast cancer - she had a lumpectomy and then upon further research it had metastasized to her hip. Which...
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@nd26, from a Mum with mbc, you need to not push her, you need to leave her to deal with things her own way & when she wants to share she will.
I did not share with my parents or my kids for months, I had already had my first round of Chemo before I told my boys. I needed to deal with things & get my head around it, know where I was headed & what I was doing before I told them.
Its hard enough to deal with it & take it in yourself without having feeling you need to support your loved ones thru it & yes, that is exactly what you feel you must do when it happens to you.
When my sister, who lives interstate, found out, she rang & was wanting to drop everything & come to Melbourne to help me, drive me to chemo, cook my dinner etc... & that is exactly what I did not want, I wanted my life to continue on as normal, I did not want everyone fussing over me, thinking I was going to break. I didn't want people around me all the time, I wanted my normal life...
Let her know you are there for her, that she just has to ask for help & you will be there but dont be in her face (for want of a better term).
Its very hard dealing with it yourself without explaining things over & over again to people (albeit close family). I understand you want to help & be there, totally I do but I also know from personal experience that its possible she doesnt want to be discussing things all the time, to be reminded she is sick all the time
I did not share with my parents or my kids for months, I had already had my first round of Chemo before I told my boys. I needed to deal with things & get my head around it, know where I was headed & what I was doing before I told them.
Its hard enough to deal with it & take it in yourself without having feeling you need to support your loved ones thru it & yes, that is exactly what you feel you must do when it happens to you.
When my sister, who lives interstate, found out, she rang & was wanting to drop everything & come to Melbourne to help me, drive me to chemo, cook my dinner etc... & that is exactly what I did not want, I wanted my life to continue on as normal, I did not want everyone fussing over me, thinking I was going to break. I didn't want people around me all the time, I wanted my normal life...
Let her know you are there for her, that she just has to ask for help & you will be there but dont be in her face (for want of a better term).
Its very hard dealing with it yourself without explaining things over & over again to people (albeit close family). I understand you want to help & be there, totally I do but I also know from personal experience that its possible she doesnt want to be discussing things all the time, to be reminded she is sick all the time