Hi N, What a hard road your travelling! I think you're doing such a wonderful job being super supportive and acting as a buffer between your mum and dad when necessary. Perhaps with your parents being a bit vague that may simply be the way that they have decided to handle your mum's cancer. Whether they have reached a joint consensus that they are going to withhold information from you deliberately so as not to worry you or perhaps it's just that this is the way that your mum wants to deal with her cancer. I think even though she has not disclosed what testing she has had I'm sure in her own mind she has her reasons. All you can do is make it known to your parents that you are available should they wish to talk or de-stress. I also think that we each have our own way of dealing with situations and if your mum chooses not to contact support groups I would personally let her be. It may be that she is still coming to terms with her diagnosis. The fact that you have let her know that there are support groups in the area is information that she now has and can utilise should she wish. I do think it is so very important for anyone who has cancer to be able to feel even the slightest amount of control because generally the whole situation is so totally out of control. Maybe in time she will wish to confide in you and your sister and share information until that time comes around you are doing all you possibly can without eroding her sense of self. It is quite possible there is still residual pain from her hip replacement. Does she take panadol osteo to help manage her pain. My mum has had two knee replacements and has pain. An aunt had a knee replacement and she has pain. It is not uncommon. Hoping that this helps. Sending big hugs. I think your doing wonderfully. Xx Cath
