@penny001 it can be terribly hard to do very little. There is a heavy emotional load to carry and when the physical trials of chemo kick in it can feel like it's all a bit too much.
Thing is, once we've committed to chemo we have to just plod through it. At one stage if I could have slept for 20 hours a day, seven days a week, for three months that would have been just fine with me. Wake me up when it's all over. I did try to walk every day and once you get used to feeling like shit you can get some stuff done.
My first chemo in 2006 was AC and I had very few problems. Looking back I think that trying to keep my job while being a single parent to a 13yo boy kept me focused on what I could do rather than what I couldn't. I won't say it was a doddle, but it wasn't as bad as I had imagined.
TC in 2016 was a different thing altogether. I was so bloody disappointed and sick that I wondered what the hell I was doing to myself. That was probably the longest 3 months of my life and I know exactly what you mean about feeling lost and disconnected. There is no magic solution, but some counselling can help, if only by giving you a chance to vent in an environment where no-one is going to throw your words back at you some time in the future. Hang in there. MXX
