Why Reconstruct?

What a great,totally honest blog. I felt you could have been writing about my boobs.I had a similar relationship with my breasts- yes they were smallish but at least I had 2.I breast fed 2 babies with them-they did their job.I finally got abit of cleavage in my forties and then I got breast cancer.I had a lumpectomy and radiation at 47 years of age.My left breast was smaller and constantly uncomfortable but I was ok about doing naked in VERY dim light.My husband just learnt not to touch the left breast or it would kill the moment! I was happy I had a breast to fill a bra-so it had it's use.Fast track 7 years and I got cancer back in the same spot so had to have a mastectomy.I didn't explore recon,I just wanted it off asap.In anycase,my recon options were limited because of previous radiation.Now I hate to say this but that was over 4 years ago and I still won't do naked in bed.My husband is wonderful and has no issues at all but is mindful of how I feel. I can't say I hate my chest but I certainly don't like it.So my thinking is why would my husband.I don't want to kill the romance with going bare chested. Like you,I really miss that skin on skin closeness.But we have adjusted and we are older-he is 64 and I'm 59.I would not like to be dealing with this issue at 39.I really feel for you and I have no words of wisdom to impart. Only to tell you that what you are feeling is normal and you are not alone in this intimacy matter.You may feel like this for awhile.I have thought about recon but I can only have the flap transfer type which is marathon surgery. It is neither the right time or right headspace for me at the moment.But I won't say never, just not now.Thank you for your wonderful blog.You have said so eloquently what many of us feel. Tonya xx