Hi B,
I was 8 years older than you when diagnosed but the friends and family I know who were diagnosed in their 30's have all felt the same way as you.
I had uni skin sparing mastectomy with immediate reconstruction in June but after +ve BRCA2 result I'm booked in to have the healthy breast removed in 3 weeks. In hindsight I would have preferred to have had both done at the same time but you live and learn.
If you haven't already sent a request I'd really recommend joining the Breast Reconstruction Online group and reposting your question in there. You'll find some pretty amazing and very generous women in there who will be happy to go into a bit more detail. It is eye opening some of the choices that may be available to you and some of the ladies may have used the same surgeon/s you are considering.
Glad you are still listening to your gut.
Jen