This too will pass. It's a crappy situation and second guessing yourself is absolutely normal. Exhausting, but normal.
Go to the appointment but give yourself permission to change your mind at any time. My bet is you will do what you are planning to do because you have thought it through and made a decision based on what is best for you and your chances of survival, but in the end it is one option and you are the one calling the shots.
I remember sitting in the admissions clinic clutching my backpack in one hand and a chair in the other having to physically restrain myself from bolting. In the end I got on the trolley, because that's what we do--make tough and unpalatable decisions based on the best evidence we can gather. Good luck. Marg
