Returning to work - why am I rushing?

Hazel M
Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
edited October 2018 in Health and wellbeing

Hi ladies, I am due to see my GP tomorrow after I have a bone density test at the hospital.

They are doing a scan so they have a baseline to look at in the future after I have been on Armidrex for some time.

Anyway, I have been thinking I would be well enough to return to work for some short shifts mid August. I keep thinking I must get back to work, I must become productive again. My partner and close friends have been saying that they don't think I'm ready.

I decided to sit down and think through where I'm up to and I now think I may have been fooling myself.

I have income protection so it wasn't the money that was making me keen to return. I'm still in touch with friends at work and they tell me they miss me so much and that several people have replaced me since I've been off work.

I'm a bit insecure about my job and often wonder if I will fit back in. The club I work for have assured me my job is there whenever I'm ready. I'm starting to think it's an ego thing with me. The horror!

I kept thinking I am stronger and can now do more around the house and garden so maybe I could go back to work. But at home I'm going along atMY pace whereas at work the customers will dictate the pace and I won't be able to sit down and have a rest whenever I need to:)

So, tomorrow I will be brutally honest with my GP instead of talking up my health.

If he doesn't clear me for work I will take the time to keep building up my strength and also my mental strength (I have noticed that since starting Armidrex I don't think as clearly as I should) and as I handle a lot of money in my job, not good:( It's such an awkward period as I'm not physically sick as such.

I've been so impatient, I need to put Number 1 first. I will get there, I know that. My body has been through quite a lot  in the last 10 months, I need to let time heal it. Rambling again, hey?

Thanks for listening and I hope you are all doing as well as you are able, take care, 

Hazel xx

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Comments

  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015
    I couldn't wait to get back to work, I thought that would make me normal, I now realize , it's been nearly 2 years I went back to soon emotionally, I wish I had been more kind to myself, but I'm stubborn and did it against everyone's advice. Sometimes we do what we do, I have another illness now and if I'm not feeling great I don't go in. Finally some brains.!
  • Flickety
    Flickety Member Posts: 14
    edited March 2015
    Hi hazel,
    I feel the same as you and came to the same conclusion for my own situation. I hope your doctor has given you the opportunity to take as much time off as you need.
    Flickety.
  • Flickety
    Flickety Member Posts: 14
    edited March 2015
    Hi hazel,
    I feel the same as you and came to the same conclusion for my own situation. I hope your doctor has given you the opportunity to take as much time off as you need.
    Flickety.
  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Saw my GP yesterday and he has not cleared me for work as I suspected. I was very honest and told him of my confusion at times, also asked the pharmacist at the hospital, and they both said it wasn't the Armidex that would do that. They believe it is leftover from chemo and that with exercise it will fade away. So I'm going to do more walks in the fresh air and hope that makes me more clear minded. I'm going to start to appreciate my good fortune more and stop whinging about how long the road is to recovery. It is what it is:) Take care everybody, 

    Hazel xx

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    I think that's a good thing Hazel:) How did u get on with your BMD test? Take it easy Hazel, and slowly things will improve.I also have confusion and forgetfulness quite frequently.I definitely think it is leftover from chemo.At least I hope it is!!!!!!!Cheers Robynxoc
  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    I think that's a good thing Hazel:) How did u get on with your BMD test? Take it easy Hazel, and slowly things will improve.I also have confusion and forgetfulness quite frequently.I definitely think it is leftover from chemo.At least I hope it is!!!!!!!Cheers Robynxoc
  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015

    The lady that did the BMD test couldn't tell me anything. I am not due to see the doctor that ordered it for quite sometime, so they are sending the results to my GP and I see him in a few weeks. I'm hoping to find out then. I know what you mean when you say you hope it's leftover from chemo:) The alternatives are scary. Take care Robyn, 

    Hazel xx

  • jennywren
    jennywren Member Posts: 111
    edited March 2015
    hi ladies I am in a similar predicament. 3 yrs ago when initially diagnosed with early BC I returned to work after surgery and worked all through my chemo and radiotherapy with minimal time off. Recently the Cancer came back, 6 weeks ago now and I am currently off work until 23 October. I had a reopening of my mastectomy scar to remove Cancer in the scar and 2 weeks later I had an oophorectomy to render me post menopausal. (I am 52).

    I work in a managerial position for a large company who are very supportive and encouraging me to take as much time as I need. I have income protection which kicks in after 12 weeks.

    My problem is my oncologist is an advocate of getting back to work as soon as possible and I am worried she will not sign me off for longer than the 10 weeks it will be in October. I am scared to discuss it with her but I know I am just not ready and I haven't even started my femara yet so how will I feel when that kicks in?

    Has anyone else faced this problem? I just feel I would like the rest of the year off and then ease myself back into work in January. I am still so tired and that's just from pottering around at home.

    I feel different this time because it is advanced and I know that now I will live with this for the rest of my life. Getting my head around that is hard enough. Sorry but I just needed to vent!

    I am so confused on what is the best thing to do!!
  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Sorry to hear your cancer came back. If you feel like you are not ready to return to work, you are definitely not ready. Surely the oncologist will understand your concerns and give you the time off. I am only recently back at work on short shifts and it is all working out well but I knew I was ready. As you say, after starting the Femara, it will be a wait and see situation for you. Go with what you are feeling and explain it all to your oncologist. The best thing to do is what will be best for you in the long term. You know your body better than anyone else. Hope this helps, sending big hugs to you, 

    Hazel xx

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