Sadness in May

TonyaM
TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
edited September 2016 in Supporting someone with breast cancer

Three weeks ago,I lost a friend to breast cancer and 11days ago I lost my dear mum to liver cancer. She was diagnosed 14 months ago and was told she'd only have 6 months to live.She decided against chemo which wouldn't give her a cure but perhaps extra time.Well she got an extra 8mths anyway and we looked after her in her home until the end.My brother and I kept her comfortable and she had a peaceful death with us close by her. Being her carer and nurse and watching her waste away to skin and bone has been the hardest thing in my life-perhaps harder than going through my own cancer treatments.It was a tough week with mum dying on the 9th,mother's day on the 11th,mum's birthday on the 12th and my daughter's 30th birthday on the 13th.Needless to say,we didn't feel like celebrating any of it. I'm having some quiet time but slowly rejoining the human race after having my own life on hold for so long.  Tonya xx

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Comments

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Tonya,I am so very ,very sorry.It is one of the hardest things in life when you lose your own Mum xxx I lost my Mum many years ago,but she never leaves my side.You have done a special thing,caring for her the way you have,so now you need to start taking care of yourself again.Take is easy Tonya,and don't expect too much of yourself.Thinking of you.xoxRobyn
  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Tonya,I am so very ,very sorry.It is one of the hardest things in life when you lose your own Mum xxx I lost my Mum many years ago,but she never leaves my side.You have done a special thing,caring for her the way you have,so now you need to start taking care of yourself again.Take is easy Tonya,and don't expect too much of yourself.Thinking of you.xoxRobyn
  • margiemoo
    margiemoo Member Posts: 263 ✭
    edited March 2015

    so sorry to hear that you have had such a bad time. sending hugs xx

  • Michelle_R
    Michelle_R Member Posts: 901 ✭
    edited March 2015

    I am so very sorry Tonya - you have had emotional overload for sure.  Your mum had a wonderful daughter. Remember our mantra - one day at a time.  Thinking of you.  Big cyber hug.  Michelle xxx

  • Jess_BCNA
    Jess_BCNA Member Posts: 474
    edited March 2015

    So sorry to hear about this Tonya, we are thinking of you :-)

    ~jess

  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Sorry to hear about your loss, Tonya. Sending cyber hugs to you, take care, 

    Hazel xx

  • Chorsell
    Chorsell Member Posts: 462 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Having lost my elderly Uncle who lived with us in October, and assisting in nursing my Mother at home due to Lung Cancer I can sympathise with you during this difficult time.

    It makes it harder when there are special days so close...

    Just take one day at a time and know that there are lots of people sending love and positive thoughts

    Chris

    xxx

  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Tonya

    So sorry to hear about your Mum ....what an amazing lady you are being her carer and being able to spend those last months with her - a truly amazing gift to her! Also for your treasured friend...

    Definitely time for healing and reflection now and sending you cyber hugs with tears in my eyes for you; remembering my own Mums death 7 months ago but feeling her arms around me still as you will!

    Big hug to you....x

  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Tonya

    So sorry to hear about your Mum ....what an amazing lady you are being her carer and being able to spend those last months with her - a truly amazing gift to her! Also for your treasured friend...

    Definitely time for healing and reflection now and sending you cyber hugs with tears in my eyes for you; remembering my own Mums death 7 months ago but feeling her arms around me still as you will!

    Big hug to you....x

  • jandy23
    jandy23 Member Posts: 234 ✭
    edited March 2015

    What a tough year you must have had and all that time you have continued to provide support and encouragement to women on this site, including me. I am so sorry for your loss Tonya. I imagine your mum must have felt lucky to have such a devoted daughter and son. Take care, Janet. xxx

  • Annie Gayed
    Annie Gayed Member Posts: 204
    edited March 2015

    Tonya, gosh, there really are no words. Sending you a huge cyberhug. I'll be thinking of you in the coming weeks xo

  • Annie Gayed
    Annie Gayed Member Posts: 204
    edited March 2015

    Tonya, gosh, there really are no words. Sending you a huge cyberhug. I'll be thinking of you in the coming weeks xo

  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    edited March 2015

    I still remember vividly when you posted about your bc diagnosis and also losing your mum around the same time.I wondered how anyone copes with all that at once.Thanks for your hugs and kind words. Tonya xx

  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    edited March 2015

    I appreciate your kind words of sympathy and taking in all the cyber hugs.I'm ok,slowly picking up the threads of "normal"life but having a few boo hoo moments here and there.  Tonya xx

  • Dot42
    Dot42 Member Posts: 120 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Tonya, I have just logged on today and saw your post.  I too lost my mum to cancer and hers had spread to her liver. It is not an easy thing to do, to nurse your mum and watch them deteroriate.  I am so sorry for your loss of your friend and your mum.  Sending you lots hugs your way xxx

    Dot

     

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