Fight for yourself -if you don't, no one else will
So the breast cancer battle rages on....and I'm gearing up for round two.
Three weeks ago, after experiencing pain in my left armpit, I discovered a very small, mushy lump. My husband told me to go straight to the doctor but because my doctor was on holidays, I had to go to one of those large clinics and see someone there. I thought I was being paranoid but he could feel a lump too and sent me for an urgent ultrasound - unfortunately someone forgot to tell the ultrasound place it was urgent and they made me wait for 2 weeks for one (I called every day hassling out the receptionist for an earlier appointment - it didn't work).
I took a dear friend with me and the sonographer took her time and was thorough. Even though I had had a clear mammogram and a clear ultrasound at my one year anniversary (Nov 2010) she found 7 cysts. She said everything looked good though. We went to lunch to celebrate with a glass of wine.....
The next day I picked up the results and as I'm sure most of us do, I opened up the films - and my heart nearly stopped. The words ".....a poorly defined 8x3mm lesion is noted of suspicious type at the 12 o'clock position..." leapt off the page. I immediately contacted my GP who saw me straight away and on my way to her office, I stopped in to see my breast surgeon (Dr John Buckingham) only to find out he had to retire abruptly due to ill health (the 'illness' was advanced pancreatic cancer - such a sad, ironic thing given his lifetime dedication to breast cancer patients in Australia - more on that in a later post).
So now I was without a breast surgeon in Canberra and needing further tests that it turns out I couldn't get in Canberra for at least a month due to the other four breast surgeons in Canberra on holidays! No offence to the rural areas of Australia, but sometimes I think Canberra really is a 'country town' in a lot of ways....
Thankfully with my persistence and my GP's contacts, we got me into Westmead Hospital in Sydney for the FNA and MRI I needed. I spent a week in Sydney with my husband's beautiful parents who loved on me and my mother in law held my hand as they poked, prodded, pushed and persisted in looking for the suspicious lump. So far the tests are inconclusive - the FNA couldn't be carried out successfully, apparently the lump was too small and too hard for the radiographer to find. The MRI confirmed not 7 but 13 'complicated' cysts and the 'suspicious' lump looks to be a fibroadenoma (or fatty tissue) ...BUT there's no certainty.
My GP has organised a very precious appointment with another breast surgeon (who returned from holidays last week and closed his books to new patients except those with new symptoms - so I was incredibly lucky to get in) for Friday to talk about the next step.
Does anyone else have a similar story to tell? With 4 children I am determined to stay here as long as I can - which means I want the left breast removed regardless of whether the lumps are benign. The past 3 weeks have been an emotional hell and to continue to live with the uncertainty every six months might just do my head in!
My GP reckons I need to learn to 'manage the uncertainty" and I agree - but isn't part of managing it trying to take some control back from this horrible disease? There's also the unanswered question now of whether I have a genetic predisposition to breast cancer - the genetic tests take months to complete and I'm not sure I want to 'wait and see'. It seems to me the only way to be somewhat certain (and in control) is to have a mastectomy and then rebuild both breasts instead of one. That still doesn't guarantee the cancer won't come back but at least it won't come back in my breasts....
I would very much appreciate some feedback ladies (and men).....
Comments
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Hello Darling, How you doing at the moment? Well arent you being sent through the wringer with the Big C. You can always rely on your doctors to be on holidays when you need them. I loved you novel by the way.. It's much better than mine..but its so good to get it all out and out of your head.
I wish I had both my breasts removed at the same time. I feel so lopsided. I''m not planning on reconstruction. I have had my kids and they are just extra weight I can do without.
Its very sad about your old breast surgeon ending up as a cancer patient himself. Cancer doesnt care who it picks on. Young old doesnt care.
How the hell do you "manage uncertainty"? Its easy for the doctor to say things like that but does he give you any idea how to do this. You have 4 kids and you have been through the cancer process once and about to do it again. Every ache and pain and lump you freak out and a dr say that. Unbelievable!!! I'll get off my soap box now.
Hope you are feeling ok
Take Care
Chrissy D xox
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Hello Darling, How you doing at the moment? Well arent you being sent through the wringer with the Big C. You can always rely on your doctors to be on holidays when you need them. I loved you novel by the way.. It's much better than mine..but its so good to get it all out and out of your head.
I wish I had both my breasts removed at the same time. I feel so lopsided. I''m not planning on reconstruction. I have had my kids and they are just extra weight I can do without.
Its very sad about your old breast surgeon ending up as a cancer patient himself. Cancer doesnt care who it picks on. Young old doesnt care.
How the hell do you "manage uncertainty"? Its easy for the doctor to say things like that but does he give you any idea how to do this. You have 4 kids and you have been through the cancer process once and about to do it again. Every ache and pain and lump you freak out and a dr say that. Unbelievable!!! I'll get off my soap box now.
Hope you are feeling ok
Take Care
Chrissy D xox
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You go girl, do exactly what you have done ...when in doubt check it out. Argue cajole and get seen, get investigated and have whatever needs to be done done. As a nurse sometimes my team placate me by doing tests they may not think necessary but I do. 8 years down the track I work through the normal channels when something crops up and if no clear answers then I hit the BC screening tests. I cannot ignore the fact that I have had BC as it is part of my makeup and we are never quite the same..
There will be gals to chat to about elective mastectomies, I have some mates who have had it. Cant say what I would do if faced with a recurrence. Have thought about it though. As you say it may then re appear somewhere else. BC is a tricky little bugger. One of my breast mates has had 4 bouts but it still is not metastatic... just persistent! Breacan in Vic will send you lots of info about mastectomies / recos if you google them they should be able to post it out. Another wonderful resource. Take Care a deep breath and talk to those docs ( sorry you need a new one) I reckon Canberra is a country town too and I have only visited ( a couple of times)
Thinking of you x
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