Mum's Recent Breast Cancer Diagnosi

Helpingmum

Hi everyone,

I'm new here so apologies in advance if I am not very clear with things.

On 23 December 2013 my 81 year old mother had confirmation she had breast cancer. The lump was felt the week before by her GP in a routine medical examination. Things have moved very rapidly since then.

On 8 January she underwent a left breast mastectomy that went well. We went to her surgeon on Friday who gave us her pathology results. What I know to date was that she had 2 x 2cm lumps in the breast, there were 6 lymph nodes involved and she came back being Her2 positive and hormone negative. Not the result we had hoped for.

The surgeon raced through the test results and said she would need radiation treatment plus chemotherapy. She was hoping to avoid chemo but the surgeon quite bluntly told her if she didn't then it would come back and come back relatively quickly.

Appointments were made for next week and the week after with the oncologist and radiologist. I have been madly trawling the internet to find about treatment for elderly women with Her2 positive breast cancer. Apart from some basic home help, I think she hasn't been offered any support at all at this stage. She is a very independent lady and wants to keep that independence for as long as possible. I guess my question is does anybody know about Herceptin treatment for Her2 positive cancer in the elderly?

I know all will become clearer on Wednesday when we see the oncologist but some back up help would be great.

I am the only daughter living in Tas but I do have a brother in Perth who will be here in a couple of weeks. So I am trying to stay strong for my parents and for him but today I have come crashing down.

It has been a long 5 weeks and I know there is still a long road ahead.

Any advice/comments would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Robyn W

I am sorry to hear of your Mums diagnosis.I am 59 and have just finished my chemo.I am sure being 81 presents itself with unique challenges,but don't underestimate your Mums ability to undergo treatment,and cope well.My doctor,actually found out his mother, who is 86,had breast cancer,2 weeks after I was diagnosed.She had a mastectomy,and after treatment,took off overseas on a trip to visit family.She is doing well!!!I am sure after Wednesday,you will feel better.It is always the fear of the unknown that is the hardest.Thinking of your.xoxoxRobyn

Helpingmum

Thank you for your kind words Robyn. Chemotherapy at 81 is going to be hard on her but I am sure the oncologist will take into account her age and overall health. Apart from a double knee replacement and pain from nerve damage associated with that together with arthritic changes, this is her first major illness. So she has been incredibly fortunate. It is so hard to find out information as studies appear to be aimed at women much younger. I know I won't have her forever but would like to have her for a bit longer xx

Robyn W

It is my understanding that much older women generally fare very well through their treatment.All chemotherapy is prepared as it is needed,for each individual patient,and I am sure that your Mums age will be taken into consideration.While having my chemo at RPA in Sydney,I have seen many obviously quite elderly patients,having their chemo too.Take care.Robyn.

Helpingmum

Thank you Robyn. As many people will know, it is terribly hard and exhausting as well as heartbreaking dealing with elderly parents when their health starts to fail. I am sure mum will come across people of her "vintage" as she continues her journey. The surgeon's office was packed on Friday - one after the other going in to see him (including men). Such an eye opener for me. I am hoping to have a better day tomorrow. Today I just hit the wall and everything caught up with me. It is so hard trying to stay strong for everyone. Thanks again for responding to my post. It means a lot to me.

TonyaM

Sorry to hear about your mum.I know how hard it is being the carer.I have been looking after my mum who is also 81(terminal liver cancer)for the last 10 months.I myself have had breast cancer twice-2003 and 2010 and I'm fine now.We have had elderly ladies at this network go through chemo and come out the other side ok.With Hercepton,I know they will check your mum's heart with a cardiac echo ultrasound beforehand.I have not had Hercepton but I believe(from others) that it's quite tolerable.As Robyn said,chemo is prescribed individually and her age/health will be taken into account.Have you ordered the "My Journey Kit"from this network?It's free and will get you up to speed with bc.Do you have a breast care nurse at the hospital?They are a wonderful support.Your mum sounds pretty robust to get through a mastectomy.Once you have seen the specialists and have a plan,you'll both feel a little more positive and in control.It's the waiting and the unknown that does your head in.When your brother arrives make sure you have some time out for yourself so you don't burn out.Blog back here any time for info,support or just to vent your fears.There is always someone here to "chat" with.Big hug, Tonya xx

TonyaM

Sorry to hear about your mum.I know how hard it is being the carer.I have been looking after my mum who is also 81(terminal liver cancer)for the last 10 months.I myself have had breast cancer twice-2003 and 2010 and I'm fine now.We have had elderly ladies at this network go through chemo and come out the other side ok.With Hercepton,I know they will check your mum's heart with a cardiac echo ultrasound beforehand.I have not had Hercepton but I believe(from others) that it's quite tolerable.As Robyn said,chemo is prescribed individually and her age/health will be taken into account.Have you ordered the "My Journey Kit"from this network?It's free and will get you up to speed with bc.Do you have a breast care nurse at the hospital?They are a wonderful support.Your mum sounds pretty robust to get through a mastectomy.Once you have seen the specialists and have a plan,you'll both feel a little more positive and in control.It's the waiting and the unknown that does your head in.When your brother arrives make sure you have some time out for yourself so you don't burn out.Blog back here any time for info,support or just to vent your fears.There is always someone here to "chat" with.Big hug, Tonya xx

TonyaM

Sorry to hear about your mum.I know how hard it is being the carer.I have been looking after my mum who is also 81(terminal liver cancer)for the last 10 months.I myself have had breast cancer twice-2003 and 2010 and I'm fine now.We have had elderly ladies at this network go through chemo and come out the other side ok.With Hercepton,I know they will check your mum's heart with a cardiac echo ultrasound beforehand.I have not had Hercepton but I believe(from others) that it's quite tolerable.As Robyn said,chemo is prescribed individually and her age/health will be taken into account.Have you ordered the "My Journey Kit"from this network?It's free and will get you up to speed with bc.Do you have a breast care nurse at the hospital?They are a wonderful support.Your mum sounds pretty robust to get through a mastectomy.Once you have seen the specialists and have a plan,you'll both feel a little more positive and in control.It's the waiting and the unknown that does your head in.When your brother arrives make sure you have some time out for yourself so you don't burn out.Blog back here any time for info,support or just to vent your fears.There is always someone here to "chat" with.Big hug, Tonya xx

Helpingmum

Hi Tonya. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I am so sorry to hear about your mum's battle with this horrible disease. My mother is very strong mentally but is not that strong physically so I worry how she will cope with the chemo but as you say, I am sure the oncologist will take all of this into account. She had an ECG before her mastectomy and she came through that really well and was very positive about it all. I am sure she has her dark times but as she said, she would probably be feeling a lot different about it all if she was 30 or 40 years younger. I haven't ordered the My Journey Kit yet as I am not sure if she wants to read it. I guess I could and have it ready for her if she does. As far as I know, she hasn't been offered a breast care nurse or any other support apart from home help after her mastectomy which she knocked back. Thank you again for your kind words. I was having a really bad day yesterday but am feeling better today. Love and strength to you and your precious mum xxx

Helpingmum

Hi Jackie. That must have been an incredibly hard time for you with your mum and you being diagnosed so close together and her being so far away. My father also has had prostate cancer for the past 7 years which is being well controlled. Mum has said that it was harder handling his diagnosis than hers. My father has been terribly upset with mum's diagnosis but better with his own. So I have both elderly parents with cancer. Somewhere along the way, the roles have reversed where we step in and care for our parents. Thank you so much for your input. It has helped me enormously over the last couple of days when I have struggled. Love and best wishes to both you and your mum xxx

Helpingmum

Hi everyone. I have had such lovely, helpful and supportive comments from lovely ladies who have been through breast cancer and also had family members going through it following my recent post about my elderly mother's recent diagnosis. I am wondering if there is an online support group for families affected by breast cancer in BCNA? While of course the major focus is on people directly affected, it is incredibly hard on their families as well. I have had a look on the site but have not been able to find anything. Thanks in advance.

JackieO

So sorry I called you Robyn:(   I am still stuggling to handle this posting of replies.  My brian is a bit slow ot catch on these days!  I am so glad to be able to help and I know how much you must hurt to watch your parents suffer xoxox