Organising support

CJ
CJ Member Posts: 3
edited January 2014 in General discussion

Hi all,

I've been diagnosed last week (invasive ductal, hormone positive, HER postive)  and have three kids and the oldest is five.

My mum, who lives overseas (I'm originally from Europe) has offered to come for a few months and help and support our family. In which part of my journey do you think I would need most practical support? After the operation, during chemo or radiation?

Any thoughts would be appreciated,

Thanks,
CJ

Comments

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    I had invasive ductal carcinoma,and have just finished chemo.I agree with Corinne,in that we are all different,and react differently to treatment.For me,I needed a bit of help after surgery,but mostly help with showers,and some help with cooking etc.I think with 3 small children,you will definitely need some help with lifting and doing everyday things with your children.As for chemo,there will most likely be some days each cycle when you will be tired ,and need some help with your children.But everyone is different,and some people need more help than others.I am older than you and have a grown family,however I think that if I had 3 young children,I,would be accepting all offers of help.All the best as you start this journey,and jump online whenever you need help and advice.This network,as you will find,is the most amazing place for support,from ladies who have done it all before.Sending you hugs. xoxoxo Robyn
  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    edited March 2015

    So sorry to hear about your bc diagnosis -it must be such a worry with young children.I was lucky that my girls were teenagers and I could rest alot when I had breast cancer.I've had all the treatments so from a practical point,you'll probably need help for a few weeks after your surgery because you can't drive or lift toddlers.You may not know till after surgery as to whether you need chemo AND radiation but if you need both then chemo is the more harder treatment to cope with.For me,radiation was a lot easier -I drove myself. However,I did get tired about half way through the 6 weeks of treatment. I'm not sure how old and how fit your mum is but with 3 little ones,you might even need extra help from other relatives and friends.Now is the time to accept any offers of help.Where do you live?Some hospitals and areas have voluntary drivers.Blog back here for support and info.

                                          Tonya xx

  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    edited March 2015

    So sorry to hear about your bc diagnosis -it must be such a worry with young children.I was lucky that my girls were teenagers and I could rest alot when I had breast cancer.I've had all the treatments so from a practical point,you'll probably need help for a few weeks after your surgery because you can't drive or lift toddlers.You may not know till after surgery as to whether you need chemo AND radiation but if you need both then chemo is the more harder treatment to cope with.For me,radiation was a lot easier -I drove myself. However,I did get tired about half way through the 6 weeks of treatment. I'm not sure how old and how fit your mum is but with 3 little ones,you might even need extra help from other relatives and friends.Now is the time to accept any offers of help.Where do you live?Some hospitals and areas have voluntary drivers.Blog back here for support and info.

                                          Tonya xx

  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hey JC

    Welcome and I am so sorry to learn you have had to join our group.  I hope you have your My Journey Kit from BCNA to help you all the way through.

    it must be so heart wrenching to have your mum so far away.  I was only 400klms away from family and freinds but that was so hard as well.

    i believe you will need support through the majority of your treatment.  Especially if you have 3 children who need caring for.

    You won't have a full diagnosis until after your surgery (are you having a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy first up?)  Once you results are back from this that will be the time you will find out if you need chemo and radiotherapy.

    Do you have a partner who can help you during this time with cooking, cleaning, caring for children and taking them to and from school etc.?  Your breast nurse may also be able to offer suggestions where you can get in contact with organisations that can assist you.

    I found during chemo that there were times when I needed help and other times I was fine.  But you are still not 100% so will probably need assistance the majority of time.

    Thinking of you and hoping things go well for you. Mich xoxoxo

  • Leonie Moore
    Leonie Moore Member Posts: 1,470 ✭
    edited March 2015

    The wonderful ladies have given you some great advice.  I too wondered if you had a partner.  The whole journey is difficult.  You will get through each stage very well (with support).  BC makes us all take time out for ourselves.  It is a time that we have to make ourself Number One.  I feel the biggest area of support - on a practical nature - is assistance with looking afer your 3 babies.  Do you have childcare facilities or close friends with little young ones who could assist?  Your first point of information may be your Breast Care Nurse.  They are amazing and are a wealth of information .  Never be afraid to ask for help.  People and good friends feel blessed to be able to assist in time of need.  Best wishes XLeonie

  • mgndam1603
    mgndam1603 Member Posts: 753 ✭
    edited March 2015

    I have been on holiday from my computer and am just catching up now on posts, so I apologise for the lateness of my repsonse.

    For me I found my chemo the hardest to deal with and if I had a young family would have required assistance through that period. As previously stated we are all different so how our bodies cope is an individual thing, its also a matter the actual surgery, some go well others have drains in longer etc.

    I wish you well onmlong your journey.

    Sending hugs

    Donna

  • mgndam1603
    mgndam1603 Member Posts: 753 ✭
    edited March 2015

    I have been on holiday from my computer and am just catching up now on posts, so I apologise for the lateness of my repsonse.

    For me I found my chemo the hardest to deal with and if I had a young family would have required assistance through that period. As previously stated we are all different so how our bodies cope is an individual thing, its also a matter the actual surgery, some go well others have drains in longer etc.

    I wish you well onmlong your journey.

    Sending hugs

    Donna

  • Annie Gayed
    Annie Gayed Member Posts: 204
    edited March 2015

    Hi CJ,

    This is Annie from BCNA -- I'm glad you found your way to this website. I thought I would let you know about our Financial and practical assistance fact sheet which outlines a range of benefits, subsidies and services that may be available for women and their families to help reduce the financial and practical impact of breast cancer.


    All the best CJ.

    ~ Annie

  • NaturalBel
    NaturalBel Member Posts: 542 ✭
    edited March 2015

    In the beginning.  I found that I couldnt have coped without my parents flying over to Tasmania to help out.  The day I had the operation, they arrived.  Thank goodness, and also stayed a couple of Chemotherapy treatments to see how I could manage.  My Mum helped me in the shower, and thank God for them, did all the food shopping, house work, and shopping.  No one else did that once they left!  It was brilliant.  I found I managed fine after that!  Just did what I could on the 3rd week after each Chemo.

  • Julia44
    Julia44 Member Posts: 361
    edited March 2015

    Hi,

     

    I found chemo the hardest part,

     

    Julia

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