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Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18

As the female partner of a beautiful woman that has now survived breast cancer, I would like to provide support for any other same sex couples that are experiencing this roller coaster. We were (and are still) extremely lucky to have great support networks (medical, friends and family), but we did not know of anyone in the "same boat" as us, and at times it would have been a great help to have this support. I am more than happy for people to contact me via this site and we can go from there

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  • Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18
    edited March 2015

    Hi!

    Thanks for you message and your support. It does take a while for the news to get out. I know there are other couples out there, and they will come when ready.

    jac xx

  • Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18
    edited March 2015

    hi Cass!

    Great to meet you!

    We are embarking down the same path, except that Michele has chosen not to have reconstruction, due to the option available to her.  The only reconstruction option is silicone and she will not have that. She would rather be a flat chested woman that a lop sided one. I don't overly care, so long as I have her.

    Good luck and keep in touch.

    jac xx

     

  • TamTam Member Posts: 12
    edited March 2015
    Hi Jac n Chele !
    Where do I start?
    I was diagnosed last Oct, had surgery in Nov, and went through chemo and just finished radio, hurahhh!
    I can see that your post was in Feb, When I became a member on the BCNA you must not have been on here!
    My partner Helen and I have had such a rough ride with it all, and I so wish that I had known this group existed!!
    I was so disappointed not to find a group like this. Then I got very ill when going through chemo and was not online at all to do anything, and just started hopping on here again about a week ago.
    Often throughout this whole journey we have needed the support of same sex couples going through it too! I realise though that now having finished treatment, that this part of the journey will have challenges too. I fel quite vulnerable at the moment, but happy healthy and positive.
    We live in rural Vic so we have had a double whammy in terms of isolation.
    Helen has and is incredible, many times though I know she was feeling the lack of proper support in many ways and especially same sex couples, partners that were having similar issues to her.
    Looking forward to hearing from you.
    Tam.
  • Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18
    edited March 2015

    Hi Tam,

    Very happy to see that you have found us!!!! Yay! that the treatment is all over!

    I have found it hard to "blog" on this page, but have email contact with the other couples. I am more than happy for Helen and You to contact me whenever. I check my emails daily, so will get back to you within a day. My personal mobile is 0400 077 366 if either of you would prefer to talk rather than write.

    Did you find the medical profession supportive of you both? And do you have a good support network at home (family, friends, etc)?  We found that even with all our wonderful friends, family and medicals, it was really hard. No one really knew what we were going through.

    I am about to head to work, so will be back to chat tonight. I just felt that I had to respond straight away. Take care, and sending hugs to you both (who doesn't need more hugs?!?!)

    jac

     

     

  • Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18
    edited March 2015

    HI again,

    where did you have your treatment? (hospital wise). Even though we are rural, we are still close to the city, so all of Michele's was at the Royal Adelaide. They have a great Women's Health Clinic there and provided heaps of support and advice. There is definitely a gap in the information available. I am not sure how to go about closing that gap, but this group is a good start, providing people are aware of the BCNA site. AND, alot of people don't go to the site until after their treatment has started or has even finished. So...pass the word along!!!

    In your first message, you mentioned that you are feeling vunerable at the moment...in what way? (only share if you want to) How is Helen going now? I would love to hear what challenges she found during your treatment, and now after.

    I am finding now that life still throws up speed bumps. We dread July as that is the anniversary and the annual check. Michele has chosen to not have reconstruction and will be having the other breast removed (whenever the hospital gets around to booking her in).

    Please let me know if you have any suggestions for improvements, or areas that are lacking (like the reference material relating to hetero couples) and we will see what we can do.

    I had better go and feed the hungry hoards of fur kids before they start chewing on my ankles. Again, take care and Hugs

    jac xx

  • Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18
    edited March 2015

    HI again,

    where did you have your treatment? (hospital wise). Even though we are rural, we are still close to the city, so all of Michele's was at the Royal Adelaide. They have a great Women's Health Clinic there and provided heaps of support and advice. There is definitely a gap in the information available. I am not sure how to go about closing that gap, but this group is a good start, providing people are aware of the BCNA site. AND, alot of people don't go to the site until after their treatment has started or has even finished. So...pass the word along!!!

    In your first message, you mentioned that you are feeling vunerable at the moment...in what way? (only share if you want to) How is Helen going now? I would love to hear what challenges she found during your treatment, and now after.

    I am finding now that life still throws up speed bumps. We dread July as that is the anniversary and the annual check. Michele has chosen to not have reconstruction and will be having the other breast removed (whenever the hospital gets around to booking her in).

    Please let me know if you have any suggestions for improvements, or areas that are lacking (like the reference material relating to hetero couples) and we will see what we can do.

    I had better go and feed the hungry hoards of fur kids before they start chewing on my ankles. Again, take care and Hugs

    jac xx

  • saxyjosaxyjo Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2015

    G'day,

    not sure where to start, I have breast cancer , and will start Chemo anyday now, I see the oncologist on Tuesday, my partner and I live in rural victoria . We have a pretty fancy new Cancer Centre, but we are struggling with some of the ways we have been treated. I firstly must say my partner is the best. she is a very private person so I won't say our names as we get a bit of nasty sms and stuff. I want to protect her as much as I can. I am also Deaf and Aboriginal so I get identified a lot in the community anyhow so we don't wish to have our journey hindered by racism or discrimination, which unfortunately has happened on many occasions. I am glad i found this group... i have no idea what to expect,  i am working on auto-pilot i guess and the night times are the worst as I tend to overthink (* my partner doesn't live with me for other reasons) but during the day i cope pretty well, but i guess i am busy with appointments and all that... but i am glad that we are not alone as same-sex couples trying to make sense of this BC. i am very scared, confused and alone most of the time, but i am strong and intelligent enough to know it will pass, that i will survive... but this aniexty will be the death of me i reckon....

    thanks for reading( listening)

    saxyo

  • cassboylecassboyle Member Posts: 45
    edited March 2015
    Hi girls,Sitting here waiting for a flight and finally have found time to check this inbox.  I am 2 months post a double TRAM flap reconstruction, and I'm 2.5 years post diagnosis..  By far, and without a doubt, the hardest physical side of this whole experience was my latest surgery.  I was completely under prepared for the level of pain, discomfort, emotional side of it all, everything.  BUT I am extremely happy with the results, I am a new woman.  I have come out all guns blazing and have found a personal trainer who is experienced with post TRAM flap clients, I'm on a strict diet, I see a naturopath, etc and I feel the best I have ever felt in my whole life.  I am even finding that the 'sting' of my cancer experience is starting to diminish ... the check ups are becoming routine rather than anxiety filled.  I can talk about my experience with less emotion.The point I'm trying to make is that its getting easier.  Much easier.  Have faith that you WILL get through the treatment, the myriad of specialists, the whole darn thing.  I will never be grateful for my cancer, and it will never be a positive thing that it happened.  But over time its just become easier to accept that it happened.Always here for any of you.
  • cassboylecassboyle Member Posts: 45
    edited March 2015
    Hi girls,Sitting here waiting for a flight and finally have found time to check this inbox.  I am 2 months post a double TRAM flap reconstruction, and I'm 2.5 years post diagnosis..  By far, and without a doubt, the hardest physical side of this whole experience was my latest surgery.  I was completely under prepared for the level of pain, discomfort, emotional side of it all, everything.  BUT I am extremely happy with the results, I am a new woman.  I have come out all guns blazing and have found a personal trainer who is experienced with post TRAM flap clients, I'm on a strict diet, I see a naturopath, etc and I feel the best I have ever felt in my whole life.  I am even finding that the 'sting' of my cancer experience is starting to diminish ... the check ups are becoming routine rather than anxiety filled.  I can talk about my experience with less emotion.The point I'm trying to make is that its getting easier.  Much easier.  Have faith that you WILL get through the treatment, the myriad of specialists, the whole darn thing.  I will never be grateful for my cancer, and it will never be a positive thing that it happened.  But over time its just become easier to accept that it happened.Always here for any of you.
  • Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18
    edited March 2015

    Thanks for letting us know how things are going for you. You are an amazing woman! Keep well. xx

  • Jac n CheleJac n Chele Member Posts: 18
    edited March 2015

    Welcome Chrimon!

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