Its been a while......
Wednesday 23 May 2012
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Sorry it's been a while! Had a bit going on! You know, breast cancer, chemo?! Lol!
Seriously this chemo thing really messed with me huge time! I am just beginning to feel better again! It has really been, a week and a half of shit!
I felt so sick! Actually the Monday after Mothers Day, I went to the hospital as I didn't know if the badness I was feeling was normal! Well, it was!! Now, that's some scary shit as I cannot begin to explain how crap I felt! This went on for a few days and then I went to my GP where I got some more anti nausea pills! They helped but one of the side effects was headaches so my nausea was going but my head was beginning! I also was having this 'car sick' feeling every time I read something! Not fun!!!
So because I was feeling crap so much, I spent quite a bit of time in bed which ended up giving me some back and neck pain which has led me to have this migraine since Monday! Went to chiro today and am hoping he has fixed my problem! Tomorrow will tell! Am feeling better, but headache is still lingering!
If this is what my chemo is gonna be like every 3 weeks, it's gonna be a miserable 3 months!!!!
Did go to work this week! Woot woot! Was super happy to be back! Mind you Monday night was a struggle with my head and Tuesday I left early as my head was exploding!
Was so disappointed as I really want some normality and this week was meant to be it, just like next week is! I want 1 bad week, 2 good weeks! I'd prefer every week to be good, but realistically it's not gonna happen so really am I asking too much?!
I just have to roll with the punches!
This whole sick business has been hard emotionally as well! I have felt like such a crap mum, as I haven't been able to play properly with Zoe! I have missed so much and I'm afraid I'm gonna miss more! She knows I'm sick and she has been so good! But every day she asks me if I'm better! It breaks my heart to tell her, not yet! Actually Monday, I was having a good day and we went to my work and Zoe was so happy telling everyone that, her mummy was better! It's so hard!!!
I'm just trying my hardest to keep things normal and to spend as much time with her! F-ing cancer!!!!
I also have to share with you all that I have the best man in the world!!! Nick has been so amazing! I am so incredibly lucky to have him by my side and I really don't know how I would cope! He gets home from work and gets Zoe's dinner, does laundry, cleans up and makes sure everything is easy for me the next day! I cannot thank him enough! I love you, Nick!
I also have the most amazing friends! BB, PB, KK, BH, JH, thank you for everything! The journey is only beginning and I know you have my back!!!! Love you! Xxxx Also thanks to everyone for their wishes, messages and love! Xxxxx
Family, ahhh my family! Couldn't do it without them! The support and help is beautiful! Thank you! They shit me, but they love me! I love you guys!!!!!! Xxxxx
So I am a very blessed lady! A very grateful and thankful one as well!
My next chemo is 31 May so lets hope the next 7 days are sick free ones! If I felt like a wine I would so, cheers that one!!!
It's odd, because as most of you would know I love a wine or 2 or 3. But this chemo thing has totally put me off! I have urges for fruit salad and hot chips! (not together)
My drink of choice is water or tea! I eat with plastic forks and spoons! I chew gum, all the time now! My taste is all over the place as is my smell! My nose smells everything and currently all I can smell is my loo cleaner! It's annoying!!!!
F-ing cancer, f-ing chemo!!!!
Anyhow sleep time now! As mentioned before, I have fixed the comments below, so you can leave one without signing up! Just leave your name, please so I know who you are!!!
I will blog again sooner, rather than later!!! Night night and here's hoping for an amazing day for everyone!!!
Xxxxxx
Comments
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Hi sorry to hear you are feeling so crappy. It just sucks when you have little ones that want to play and expect Mummy to do all the Mummy things. Try and be strong (easy for me to say) and know that at the end of this tricky bumpy road good health awaits and you can be the super Mum you once were!
Lara xx
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Thanks Lara. It gets so overwhelming at times!!!
Cant wait for all this to be over!!!
Take Care
Thanks again!
xxx
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