So things have been a little quiet for me as far as blogging goes. The past few weeks have been very challenging to say the least. I think the enormity of my situation overwhelmed me, and depression set in! Luckily an appointment with a doctor through a palliative care unit turned things around for me and made me see how unhappy I've been. I had isolated myself from family and friends, thinking that they were sick of hearing about cancer and that I was certainly a burden on them. I had stopped talking about my feelings...just bottled them up until they exploded! I felt alone, scared and very sad, so now I'll get back to sharing my feelings when I feel the need...whether it be through friends, family, blogging or regular counselling (which I've organised), or all of the above. The? 3 cycles of ?m?y??? new chemo have finished, and I'm due for major scans in the next few weeks. It's scary to think that these next lot of scans are "critical" to my?? treatment ?a?n?d? ?p?r?o?g?n?o?s?i?s?.? ??G?e?e? ?i?t??'s?? ?a? ?t?o?u?g?h? ?g?i?g??!???:??????????(???????? ??I? ?o?n?l?y? ?h?o?p?e? ?t?h?a?t? ?i?f??? ??I?'?m? ?n?o?t? ?m?a?k?i?n?g? ??t?h?e? ?p?r?o?g?r?e?s?s? ??I? ?s?h?o?u?l?d? ?b?e?, ?? ?t?h?e?r?e? ?a?r?e? ?o?t?h?e?r? ?o?p?t?i?o?n?s? ?o?f? ?t?r?e?a?t?m?e?n?t? ?f?o?r? ?m?e??!? ??????????????

Hi Celeste, you have had such a tough time of late. I'm glad the chemo is finished, and I will keep my fingers crossed that it has made a noticeable difference on the scans. Love Chris xx

Hi Celeste, I love seeing your beautiful face. I am so sad to read your comments. It really is a sh..... of a disease. What can I say - I pray that the chemo has "done good" for you. I am trying my best to be so busy at the moment (moving house and making our present home available for sale) BUT there is always the lingering feeling.............My best wishes are with you. XLeonie

Hi Celeste! We are all here for you. You are one brave lady who has had many hurdles to overcome. Blog away as often as you want. There is always someone willing to listen and offer words of comfort. I can't imagine what you are going through but stay strong and positive. My fingers and toes are crossed for you and your scans in the coming weeks. You will come out of this, I know you will. Take care dear lady and I'll be thinking of you as you embark on the next phase of your treatment and here's to a good outcome. Love Alison xxxx ( Many cyber hugs coming your way!) oooo

Hi Celese Much better to let those feelings and emotions out that's for sure. I'm so glad you have organised counselling. I did a few sessions and have felt so much better for it. I would definitely go back and have more if I felt that wave of depression coming down on me again. I will have every toe and finger crossed for your scans. I hope this treatment is working but remember there ARE lots of options for other treatments and new ones coming all the time. Hope you've been able to spend some quality time with your friends and family over the Easter break. Take care, Amy x

Hey Celeste! It's so lovely to see you pop up with a blog post. :) Thinking positive thoughts for you that the chemo's doing it's job and your next results are good. Hope it helps to know you can jump in here anytime and share your thoughts and feelings and there's always someone to listen. Hugs to you. Di xxx

It's a tough gig.... | BCNA Online Network

19 Replies

pisces_tas
Member
14 years ago
Hi celbird, new nic but still Celeste; what a lovely name and I am sure you are a lovely person also. I can see it in your face. I would say a " trouper ", but all of us have our breaking points, even the seemingly stronger ones. I think you are wise to seek emotional support when you need to. The journey really does test our resolve. I know I went through things, and still do at times, though it also made me "grow " too, so I am grateful for that.

I have been off here myself and out in the world in my community, but today it is windy ++, stormy outside and I am spending a quiet day inside, reading, ironing, knitting a scarf and watching TV, LOL.

The daylight hours are drawing in now we are heading to the shortest day again. I love the cycles of nature and the seasons, though I wish we had a longer summer in Tasmania, even though the north of the state is cool, temperate really. I do love the hot dry weather of Adelaide and I have seen quite a few days in the 40's this summer there. One day soon I might go on a trip again. Would love to see Adelaide and surrounding countryside. SA will bring back memories of visiting, usually in December, as a child. My mother's family is from there.

I hope you get encouraging resuts on the 26th just passed. Love Kathy.
pisces_tas
Member
14 years ago
Hi celbird, new nic but still Celeste; what a lovely name and I am sure you are a lovely person also. I can see it in your face. I would say a " trouper ", but all of us have our breaking points, even the seemingly stronger ones. I think you are wise to seek emotional support when you need to. The journey really does test our resolve. I know I went through things, and still do at times, though it also made me "grow " too, so I am grateful for that.

I have been off here myself and out in the world in my community, but today it is windy ++, stormy outside and I am spending a quiet day inside, reading, ironing, knitting a scarf and watching TV, LOL.

The daylight hours are drawing in now we are heading to the shortest day again. I love the cycles of nature and the seasons, though I wish we had a longer summer in Tasmania, even though the north of the state is cool, temperate really. I do love the hot dry weather of Adelaide and I have seen quite a few days in the 40's this summer there. One day soon I might go on a trip again. Would love to see Adelaide and surrounding countryside. SA will bring back memories of visiting, usually in December, as a child. My mother's family is from there.

I hope you get encouraging resuts on the 26th just passed. Love Kathy.
Di_BCNA
Member
14 years ago
I'm so glad you've been able to 'reclaim' blogging as something you enjoy. That's what's most important, isn't it? -- being able to keep doing the things that make you happy. xxx
traxx65
Member
14 years ago
Hi Celeste,

Glad to see you back and hope we can keep you feeling good emoitonally.

Take care.

Tracey xx
Anonymous
14 years ago
Hi Tracey, you're right..the emotions do build up and sometimes I think we all need some help to diffuse them because as you say, they can become overwhelming for sure. I had reached a point where my confiding in others had shut down for a number of reasons, and the outcome was not good. I'm pleased to say I'm feeling a lot better now, and am slowly learning, through experience, how best to manage this secondary diagnosis, which I believe is much harder than when I had my early bc diagnosis in 2008. Hope all is going well for you Tracey, take care Celeste?
Anonymous
14 years ago
Hi Gay, yes sadly I missed the last meeting due to chemo that ran late! Isnt the waiting just terrible when it comes to scan results....its dreadful! I hope your results are good on Monday, will be thinking of you... please keep us posted! Yes am certainly looking forward to getting my lippy on Tuesday! Hope to see you at the next lunch, take care Celeste?
Anonymous
14 years ago
Thank you Ann-Marie, take care Celeste?
Anonymous
14 years ago
Hi Di, yes its nice to be back blogging again! :-) I must say my stressful experience with my last blog put me off blogging on this site, however having thought it through, I finally got the courage to return and do things a bit differently this time! Yes, lets hope the chemo is doing its job this time for sure...not long to wait til I find out! Take care, Celeste?
Anonymous
14 years ago
Hi Amy, yes you're right, much better to get the feeling out and dealt with, that's for sure! Am feeling so much better for having done so and am going for regular counselling for a while. Thank you for the reminder about lots of options and new treatments coming through...sometimes its easy to lose sight of that! Hope you are well Amy, take care Celeste?
Anonymous
14 years ago
Hi Alison, thanks for your post. Yes I certainly hope and pray that I can come out of the other side of this nightmare! I'm just taking one day at a time until I get my scan results! Thanks again, the cyber hugs are wonderful! Take care, Celeste?