It's a tough gig....

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Celbird
Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
edited April 2012 in General discussion

So things have been a little quiet for me as far as blogging goes. The past few weeks have been very challenging to say the least. I think the enormity of my situation overwhelmed me, and depression set in! Luckily an appointment with a doctor through a palliative care unit turned things around for me and made me see how unhappy I've been. I had isolated myself from family and friends, thinking that they were sick of hearing about cancer and that I was certainly a burden on them. I had stopped talking about my feelings...just bottled them up until they exploded! I felt alone, scared and very sad, so now I'll get back to sharing my feelings when I feel the need...whether it be through friends, family, blogging or regular counselling (which I've organised), or all of the above.

The? 3 cycles of ?m?y??? new chemo have finished, and I'm due for major scans in the next few weeks. It's scary to think that these next lot of scans are "critical" to my?? treatment ?a?n?d? ?p?r?o?g?n?o?s?i?s?.? ??G?e?e? ?i?t??'s?? ?a? ?t?o?u?g?h? ?g?i?g??!???:??????????(????????

??I? ?o?n?l?y? ?h?o?p?e? ?t?h?a?t? ?i?f??? ??I?'?m? ?n?o?t? ?m?a?k?i?n?g? ??t?h?e? ?p?r?o?g?r?e?s?s? ??I? ?s?h?o?u?l?d? ?b?e?,

?? ?t?h?e?r?e? ?a?r?e? ?o?t?h?e?r? ?o?p?t?i?o?n?s? ?o?f? ?t?r?e?a?t?m?e?n?t? ?f?o?r? ?m?e??!? ??????????????

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Comments

  • Chris
    Chris Member Posts: 813 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Celeste, you have had such a tough time of late. I'm glad the chemo is finished, and I will keep my fingers crossed that it has made a noticeable difference on the scans. Love Chris xx
  • Leonie Moore
    Leonie Moore Member Posts: 1,470 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Celeste,  I love seeing your beautiful face.  I am so sad to read your comments.  It really is a sh..... of a disease.  What can I say -  I pray that the chemo has "done good" for you.  I am trying my best to be so busy at the moment (moving house and making our present home available for sale) BUT there is always the lingering feeling.............My best wishes are with you. XLeonie

  • Al
    Al Member Posts: 325
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Celeste!

    We are all here for you. You are one brave lady who has had many hurdles to overcome. Blog away as often as you want. There is always someone willing to listen and offer words of comfort. I can't imagine what you are going through but stay strong and positive. My fingers and toes are crossed for you and your scans in the coming weeks. You will come out of this, I know you will.

    Take care dear lady and I'll be thinking of you as you embark on the next phase of your treatment and here's to a good outcome.

    Love Alison xxxx ( Many cyber hugs coming your way!) oooo

  • Amy
    Amy Member Posts: 233
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Celese

    Much better to let those feelings and emotions out that's for sure.  I'm so glad you have organised counselling.  I did a few sessions and have felt so much better for it.  I would definitely go back and have more if I felt that wave of depression coming down on me again.

    I will have every toe and finger crossed for your scans.  I hope this treatment is working but remember there ARE lots of options for other treatments and new ones coming all the time.

    Hope you've been able to spend some quality time with your friends and family over the Easter break.

    Take care, Amy x

  • Di_BCNA
    Di_BCNA Member Posts: 896 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hey Celeste!  It's so lovely to see you pop up with a blog post. :)   Thinking positive thoughts for you that the chemo's doing it's job and your next results are good.  Hope it helps to know you can jump in here anytime and share your thoughts and feelings and there's always someone to listen.

    Hugs to you.

    Di xxx

  • Ann-Marie AK
    Ann-Marie AK Member Posts: 166
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Celeste

    I've got you in my prayers and hoping your next results are good and that the treatment is doing its job.

    Sending cyber hugs and positive thoughts

    Ann-Marie xx
  • mother4speed
    mother4speed Member Posts: 5 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Celeste!

    Missed you at the last meeting! Can't make this Tue but will still be thinking of you!

    I had a bone scan yesterday so will find out the results on Monday. Waiting is so hard!

    Hope you enjoy the lippy!!

    Gay xxx

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Chris, yes its been a difficult last few weeks but I'm feeling better now. So much to deal with in this situation. Chemo hasnt finished unfortunately... I've only completed the 3 cycles of the new chemo that they wanted me to complete before my assessment, that's all. I assume I keep going with this chemo until they tell me otherwise. Yes, hopefully I'll get a good result on 26th April, fingers crossed! Hope you are well Chris, take care Celeste?

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Leonie, you're right, its a sh.... of a thing isnt it?? Thanks for your prayers...yes, I have my fingers crossed that the chemo has been successful, even just a little bit! Wow sounds like you've been busy!! lots of work moving and selling a house! Hope its all going well for you! Take care, Celeste?

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Alison, thanks for your post. Yes I certainly hope and pray that I can come out of the other side of this nightmare! I'm just taking one day at a time until I get my scan results! Thanks again, the cyber hugs are wonderful! Take care, Celeste?

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Amy, yes you're right, much better to get the feeling out and dealt with, that's for sure! Am feeling so much better for having done so and am going for regular counselling for a while. Thank you for the reminder about lots of options and new treatments coming through...sometimes its easy to lose sight of that! Hope you are well Amy, take care Celeste?

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Di, yes its nice to be back blogging again! :-) I must say my stressful experience with my last blog put me off blogging on this site, however having thought it through, I finally got the courage to return and do things a bit differently this time! Yes, lets hope the chemo is doing its job this time for sure...not long to wait til I find out! Take care, Celeste?

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Thank you Ann-Marie, take care Celeste?

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Gay, yes sadly I missed the last meeting due to chemo that ran late! Isnt the waiting just terrible when it comes to scan results....its dreadful! I hope your results are good on Monday, will be thinking of you... please keep us posted! Yes am certainly looking forward to getting my lippy on Tuesday! Hope to see you at the next lunch, take care Celeste?

  • Celbird
    Celbird Member Posts: 680 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Tracey, you're right..the emotions do build up and sometimes I think we all need some help to diffuse them because as you say, they can become overwhelming for sure. I had reached a point where my confiding in others had shut down for a number of reasons, and the outcome was not good. I'm pleased to say I'm feeling a lot better now, and am slowly learning, through experience, how best to manage this secondary diagnosis, which I believe is much harder than when I had my early bc diagnosis in 2008. Hope all is going well for you Tracey, take care Celeste?

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