Feeling happy

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I apologise in advance if this content offends anyone, but I will be writing blogs on FB about my journey. I feel free and good. Again if its too much just tell me to shut up........



OMG,
what a day I’ve had.  Sitting by myself
in the back yard, quietness, then the songs of birds, oh and then, as I sat
under the flowering Wisteria tree, I heard it, the sound of heaven, yep, the
bees, they were flittering to and fro, happy, jubilant, as they flew from
blossom to blossom, as they did this, they sang their song, it was only a hum,
but they were all in unison, no rhythm, no chords, no lyrics, just the sounds
of their tiny wings, praising their creator, they were singing His praises and
as I listened I recalled a verse somewhere, Let Everything that has Breath
Praise Him, so there I stood in awe, that even the bees, praise Him, they know,
but pity humans don’t.  So then I sit
down and look, it’s warm, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and then the
breeze started, softly, gently, causing the trees to move and sway with the
rythym of the breeze, again it reminded me that everything in all Creation
cries out to God, yes and again even the trees of the fields will clap their
hands, so I watched in awe, as branches started to sway, then the leaves, and
then I knew, they too were praising their Creator. As I watched I observed that
everything in the ground grows upwards, upwards towards the sky, and in the
process displaying many different forms of glory.  Each plant, each flower, each tree, unique,
different yet shining for Him. I love reminding myself of the fact that God
created all this.  I like gardening, but
I only put the plants in. He is the one who created them. So all Glory be to
God. I cant wait to be in His garden, He has already shown me part of it,
picked out just for me, in my favourite colour. 
So yes I feel good today, God is in control. Let the heavens be glad,
let the earth rejoice!!! Amen my blog for today.

 

I’ve
been wronged, by the people who are suppose to take care of me.  They made me feel like dirt, a so called
Christian organization, I’m gona fight this, even if its the last thing I do.

 

But
it won’t be the last thing that I do. I know, categorically that my decision is
right.  Not only have I brought distress,
shame and disgust of myself to my family & friends, I have surrendered my
all to Him, From now on, what ever days I have left, I will, with the help of
His Holy Spirit, shine for the Glory of God, not for me, no, far from it, but
that I be remembered as a wretched sinner saved by His grace and His grace
alone.

 

No
words, no rituals, no tradition, just a cry from the heart. Thats what He
hears, not empty repetitious words, He hears the heart. He hears every pain,
every discomfort, every heartache, thats what He hears.  Does He answer, YES, but in HIS time, not
ours, WHY? I don’t know, I cant figure it out, but it is by the grace of God
that I am here today and even writing this. Oh God, why did you let me go
through all this stuff, why? I guess as the AA folks say, live and let God.  For me its taken a long time to re- hear His
voice, but its like a gramophone, and I love it, common God, love hearing you.

 

To ALL,
my days, however long, however short, will be lived as God created it to be
lived, a saved sinner, human being, with health for what ever length, for He
said I have come to give life in abundance, that is what I will pursue, not
length of days, traumatic, subhuman, un manageable, bitch, no, not me, I will
give, and love where I can and hopefully if people allow, share my story, share
about Gods love, how He rescued me, oh my God oh how He rescued me. The scars
bear it all.  I will now show them.  Its taken a long time, It still hurts when I
write, im crying, why did I do this, OMG. 
But no, I will not be beaten.

Comments

  • Keeping_positive1
    Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 555
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    You are strong @Cora ... keep that fighting spirit.  Thank you for sharing :)

  • Cora
    Cora Member Posts: 110
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     :) 
  • Cora
    Cora Member Posts: 110
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    Tonight, I looked up in the night sky and saw the moon, it was full, shining in its own brilliance. Above & beyond were the stars, shining, dazzling arranged in a beautiful disorder, but ordered.  then I remembered, He knows each star by name, and again I stand in awe, of His handiwork. For the heavens declare the glory of God. I don't know scripture numbers or versus, just the words, the heart of God to man, that He is near, so close. I don't care BC
  • Cora
    Cora Member Posts: 110
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    You are strong @Cora ... keep that fighting spirit.  Thank you for sharing :)


    Thankyou for your one and only response. Since I have made my decision, has been made, I  have an acute sense of all my senses, an awareness of both out & inside, I'm flying, can't describe in human terms. Wow God has shown me, Seasons, for me, SEASONS FOR EVERYONE, we either reject or accept. for everyone.
  • Keeping_positive1
    Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 555
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    Great to hear again from you.  How is your recuperating going from your surgery?  It can be a rough/hard time, so keep reaching out for the support you need here and elsewhere as well. I hope you get all the support you need, you deserve it.xx
  • Cora
    Cora Member Posts: 110
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    I have the reg nurse come everyday. My fluid bag won't go down. I'm really tired of this drainage stuff. I just wanna play guitar & sing, but just can't, chest too sore. Thank you for asking me 🙂
  • Keeping_positive1
    Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 555
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    I went home with two drains, and I had a nurse come and check them each day also.  It can really be a drag and seem to last forever, but now for me it is a distant memory, and it will one day be a distant memory for you also :) 

    Try to spoil yourself with something little each day, even it is purposely sitting outside for your morning or afternoon tea, weather permitting. :)


  • June1952
    June1952 Member Posts: 1,834
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    @Cora - you can still sing !
  • Cora
    Cora Member Posts: 110
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    Thankyou, but feeling very tired all of a sudden.